perfect kisses

want to hear a sappy love story? because it's 2:24AM, i cannot sleep, and surprisingly only one thing is on my mind. maybe i've been watching too much "one tree hill". (honestly though, i dont think so. because this isn't the only night i've lost sleep over this.)

high school. silly high school. who knew whatever would happen in those four years, a person would take with them forever. both the negative and the possitive, both would stick with you. cause whatever both of those were, those experiences were the baby steps of just what more is to come in life. except, less dramatic, less pimples, and hopefully more money. oh. and nicer cars.

but on nights like these, i forget about the negative and let the possitive intoxicate my mind. 

perfect kisses. anytime that song comes on i let "the apathy eulogy"  lullaby me off to some fantasy world. a perfect world, where there are no negatives, and everything works out for the greater good. no one leaves. everyone get's what they want. and memories are still being created with the people you want them to be created with most. 

but that world doesn't exist. people do leave and people don't always get what they want. if it were that easy, what would the point be?

ready for this sappy love story? (can't believe i'm doing this.)

sometimes i feel like one could call me the ice queen. love is such a far fetched concept for me to wrap my little redheaded mind around. to truly love someone with every fiber in your body. however, it hasn't always been a foreign concept to me.

because when i was 17 years old, i fell far far far into a big pot of perfect silly innocent love.

and beautiful it was. but again, remember that fantasy world, where everything works out? that world doesnt exist here. on this world, life is much different. and i'm beggining to realize that i can plan all i want. i can date whoever i want. i can do whatever i want. but at the end of the day, it really d o e s n ' t  m a t t e r. because at the end of the day, it's not my plan. it's God's, and He calls the shots. (little rascal.)

anyways, back to the sappy love story. i fell into this giant pot of perfect love. and then i graduated, moved away to go to school, and it ended. but did i stop thinking about it? no, because i'm human. but also because i was in love. i still catch myself facebook stalking, thinking, listening to old music, and wondering what if. what if! what if.

but that's not going to bring it all back. i'm a firm believer that if you truly love someone, you'll always love them. some might think i was a typical 17 year old girl, falling in casual highschool love. but this was far more real. so yes, i still think about it most days. but the time has gone and passed. lives change. people change. and remember, in the reality of it... it's not your plan.

so, where does that leave me now.

i am going on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. i am going to Maceió, Brazil and i leave April 3rd. and i cannot wait. along with leaving on this mission i will be leaving my family, my friends, my job, thecnology, and 
l o v e. 

why? because i know that God has a greater plan for me then i could ever imagine. i know if i do my part, He will do his. 

call me a Jesus freak. but i know my Reedmer lives, i cannot wait for this next chaper in my life. i will always love that boy who made my heart melt when i was 17. but if that was just a preview of the love i will find as i continue to learn and grow old on this earth......

bring it.


xocmjox

wisdom teeth

these dang wisdom teeth have sure ticked me off.

whosever idea it was to put full grown molars into my jawline, let them get all nice and cozy... and then have them ripped and sawed out, and have these empty gaping holes stitched up into my overly sensitive mouth... whosever idea this was. please tell me why.

my friend kylie texted me the day i got those bad boys pulled out. she wished me luck, and warned me that getting hers out literally was the worst thing that ever happened to her. and she said that with no dramatic's being intended.

well kylie, i believe you.

post surgery it wasn't too bad. i came home, passed out in my jeans. posted really weird picture's on instagram, watched all of my old hulu episodes i hadn't got caught up on yet, and ate a snack pack. then 8:00 hit, and so did the vomit that hit the bottom of my bloody gauze filled trash can. stiches in my mouth, vicodin running through my veins, and v o m i t?????? vomit. how dare you wisdom teeth. being a redhead, i'm obviously a little over sensitive to my meds, and with zero food in my stomach... it was a deadly combination. (vomit. really?? really?)

day two wasn't too cheeky either. i again, couldn't eat anything all day. i felt sick. and once 8:00 hit again, more vomit. this time it came in multiple rounds. i even got to the point of straight dry heaving. making demonic sounds and whatever else came out of my mouth. oh! and then the best part. my nose. vomit started coming out OF MY NOSE. how DARE you wisdom teeth. now i had an acid stung nose, a bloody/vomit stanky mouth, zero pain pills in my system, and an aching jaw. w h a t  d i d  i  d o  t o  d e s e r v e  t h i s??????

day three. me, mom, and tay watched "one tree hill" all morning. then they went to church, i thankfully consumed 1/2 of a vicodin, this time with zero vomit! then passed out. woke up had chicken noodle soup. popped a sleeping pill. and asleep i went.

day four. today. my jaw hurts. i'm scared i have a dry socket. or that there is food stuck up there. or it's a halloween curse and i'm a zombie and this is me slowly transforming into a beast of a girl. really, after these past few day's a n y t h i n g could happen. 

i had been all kinds of depressed. not talking to anyone. just shaking my little old head with  yes or no answers whenever my mom asked me something. feeling so so sorry for myself. getting headaches from any text messages, and dreading going back to work. pathetic, i know. 

BUT! megan moo came to the rescue. my dead (<-----i meant dear*, but that typo is too funny to delete....haha) friend megan came to visit me. and how i needed that! i was laughing, joking, and snapping pictures before i knew it. human contact! wwwooooowwww.

tonight i'm sleeping in my bed instead of the couch and/or the recliner chair. and oh! let me tell you. this bed is still just as comfy. and my jaw still hurts.  but i ain't in no hurricane, and my power is still on. so tonight i'll suck it up.

my prayers go out to everyone out on the east coast! especially my dear sweet friends, the reid family. (which they won't really need it, because they got tammy and no one messes with tammy and lives to talk about it. she hit a girl with her car at BYU you know, and that was just a rain storm. could you imagine her in a hurricane!?)

please pray that my mouth heals. 

loves and turtle doves.

keng

turn on the radio

i've been wishing that i was as bad A as reba lately.

i love country. i love reba. and lately i've been in this "everyone sucks. i'm a loser" mood. just like every other girl, i'm sure. 

but oh! how i have been having this eager feeling of wanting to just escape from everyone and everything. from every invisible deadline, and responsibility. to just DO WHATEVER I WANT! what a life that would be, huh?

so instead of running away from life, i crank up some reba and sing about it for a few minutes. then i get over it.

xx

let's try this again

once again, i have stopped blogging. but until someone on my formspring asked why, i didn't see why i had stopped! blogging was such a great outlet for me. i've been really stressed out lately, and down in the dumps. why?! i have no idea. but i do remember when i did feel this way, blogging my heart out kept me sane! this time around i'm no longer going to share my blog posts on facebook, which will probably make me feel like i'll no longer have someone to report to. haha. 

if you have found this blog without searching through my facebook feed, i applaud you. welcome to my little public journal. 

today it's all kinds of gloomy outside. i love cold weather. i love layering, boots, hot coco, the changing colors of the trees, fire's, snuggling up, festival food, finally getting to paint my nails those pretty deep polish colors, and everything else fall and winter have to offer. but the absence of the sun really does make me gloomy. like half of america, i'm almost positive i have seasonal depression. or at least i like to tell myself i do, that way i can blame my "bummy-ness" on something else than just pure lack of motivation. good enough excuse, right?

today i have two haircuts appointment, a color appointment, and a hair extensions appointment. to say the least, i'll be busy.

but i had to blog before i run off to the day. if i could, i would just order food and sit at my house all day watching pretty little liars. 

but i'm a career lady now. and career ladies can't do that.

p.s. the new taylor swift album. what happened to my big curly haired, sequined dressed wearing, guitar strumming taylor? i don't like this dubstep, pop artist, with zero clever lyrics and no "you're missing out loser" songs. call my too country, but this new album is a L-L-L-LET DOWN. ....phew, that feel's good to get off my chest.

am i crazy yet?

moving home is getting the best of me. moses lake is no provo, and where the crap did all of my friends go?

the only cure to not getting depressed, it staying BUSY. and i mean busy with a capital B!

today i signed up for art 101 at the community college in town. why did i do this? to stay busy, so i don't get depressed remember? i also signed up for institute every monday and wednesday. 

why not take institute at night like everybody else you may ask? because i work at a restaurant in town every night all week. and why do i do this? to stay busy, and so i don't get depressed.

and lastly, during the day and whenever i have the free time. i will be doing hair. cutting, coloring, waxing, painting, blow drying, curling, and straightening hair.

again,  so i don't get bored and depressed.

let's hope this all works. and let's hope i have the time to figure this all out.

oh, and let's also hope i have the time to ever have fun.

because fun can also keep a girl from getting lonely and depressed.

cheers to the next three months, cheers.

insanity

i have taken the INSANITY challenge! i am only on day four.. and my body is killing me!
honestly the only place i can really feel the burn is in my legs and shoulders! when is insanity going to start ripping my abs apart!??


can we all agree that your stomach is the hardest thing to work out? maybe i'm too lazy, or just too fat... but i feel like i can NEVER get my stomach nice and tight!


so... fingers crossed that insanity works! these next two months are going to pass whether i'm working out or not, right? so i might as well just do the workouts, right?! (this is the part that ya'll step in and give me motivation to keep going.)


i'm going to press on! i'll let you guys know when my six pack comes in... fingers crossed...


love, k.

justin.

die in your arms. it's been on repeat for days, and i've been singing every word! help me...