let your faith be bigger than you fear

i  a m   m o v i n g.

in fact, i am moving back to good ol' moses lake...

me and my roommates came to visit the small town over memorial day weekend. and ever since we left my mind has been ticking like a ticking time bomb. the plan was to come back to provo, me being recently licensed as a hair profesh-in-al, and find a job dicing and coloring hair. and i would keep working until i couldn't work anymore. my plan was to attent UVU in the fall and finally start the dream of going into broadcasting and journalism.

b u t . . . my mind kept disagreeing with the idea. i had turned over 20 resumes into places that were hiring, places that i wanted to work, places that i would never want to work, places that i needed a clientel to begin working at, places that had booth rent that i would have to pay with money i didn't have. when people asked me where i was looing at working my answer was... "anywhere and everywhere." after turning in resume after resume, only one salon had called back. only one! dissapointment made my heart ache. so then i began to look at none cosmetology related jobs... why waste my time? and i'm sure my parents were thinking... what waste the $20,000 that was spent on sending you through school? back to square one i went.

i was at the temple last thursday, thinking over and over again on what to do in my jobless situation. as i sat by myself on the white benches facing the font, something in my head said to me... "GO HOME." whhaaaaattt? me. go home? now? why! i couldn't stop thinking about it. when i came home from the temple i had my dear friend, devin give me a blessing to help guide me into making my decision. in the blessing he told me to try to understand what Heavenly Father wanted me to do. he also said that i would find my answer in my patriarchal blessing.

after devin left i sprinted to my room as if the carpet were lava. i grabbed my blessing and hopped onto my bed. i have read my blessing a countless number of times, and this time things i have thought meant one things meant a completely different thing. i read my scriptures. i made my decision. the next day i fasted and prayed about my decision, and at church it was like Heavently Father was punching me in the face through out every meeting. i know what i had to do, and even though i sure didn't want to do it... Heavenly Father wanted me too. when i came home from church i got another blessing, and i knew without a doubt.

so i called my mom and on sunday, i am moving home! not only because i can't find a job and might soon well be homeless... but as crazy as it sounds, i'm moving back to washington because Heavenly Father told me to

wide awake

licensed

welp! i am licensed!! i finally recieved my license in this mail this weekend, and now i am totally legal to start cutting, dying, perming and whatever else you people want from me.

what a relief! i'm so happy to be done with this whole cosmetologist thing, and finally get the chance to start working!

i have big news later.

......stay tuned.

ginger lovin' music monday

round 1 - passed

well children, mama passed one of her final tests before the state will allow this ginger to start doing hair legally.
how am i going to celebrate?

#1 blow all of my itunes gift cards.
#2 buy new shoes.
#3 go to called to surf and buy some cool trendy hipster california born outfit or dress. who knows what they'll have in store for me.
#4 go on a loooonng, long, beautiful run.
#5 pass out via poolside.
#6 have a rock concert in the shower.
#7 last but not least! party. and party hard i will.

unbelievably blessed.

thank you family.

thanks you friends.

 

thank you God.

blown away

you're welcome

left all my problems behind

i've been having nightmares.
every night for the past few weeks.
keeping me tossing and turning in my bed, attempting to run away from my own mind.
today i woke up in a panic. 
looked at the clock, 10:00AM.
how did i sleep so long?
i may have been sleeping in the perfect terror, but i slept through the night at waayy past 6:00AM.

progress.

i woke up to taylor having a rock concert below the guest room i had passed out in last night while reading the third book of the hunger games, mockingjay. trying to prolong the night terrors. the lamp on the night stand still glowing and three too many pillows surrounding me. she was blasting some teeny bopper band that i have no idea about. but it's 10:00AM, on a tuesday. why is she home?

ohhh yes. dentist appointment. taylor goes to a pediatric dentist out of town, so little her got to skip school today. i showered, she bathed, mama showered, and off we went. my head was running a thousands miles per hour the entire way there. over thinking everything i had dreamt of last night. reliving it all. the thoughts ran through my mind and the smell of the farmland surrounding us that began to seep in through the car's vents were making me nauseous. i could feel the trail mix i was attempting to eat begin to crawl up my throat. i just kept telling myself..."breath in your nose, out your mouth."  then just thought, STOP BEING A LITTLE GIRL, AND PLEASE JUST GET ME OUT OF THIS STUPID CAR! we have arrived. thank goodness.


taylor's little people dentist visit went quick. then we wondered through old navy, skipped through target, and walked up and down every over sized isle at costco. grabbing every last sample of V8, humus and whole wheat crackers, and gazed over the giant tents and play sets suspended from the ceiling. i've decided that i need a costco card. i love those chocolate covered raisins that they sell by bulk way too much. and please, don't even get me started on those gigantic strawberries! they must be infused with steroids, because those babies are giant. 


we left right at sunset. the green lush mountains that this buzzing city was tucked away in were beautiful. sunlight reflecting off of the trees and the river that cut the town in half. we listened closely to carrie underwood's new cd. every single track, every single word. i chomped on my chocolate covered raisins, mama on her cinnamon licorice, and taylor dinked around on her ipad... trying to beat her high score on angry birds. 


as we buzzed up and down the wine filled hills, my nightmares escaped my mind. i wasn't nauseous. i wasn't uneasy. i was no longer scared.


i had successfully ran away from my own mind.


you can find me and my mama on our leather couches. she gazing over at me as the clock struck 9. "ssoooo... dancing with the stars? (her show) or the voice?... (my show)". this little girl ain't got no tivo. 


the voice it is. and kid cudi is on... ohhh lala. man candy :)


i'm also craving strawberries, sour cream, and brown sugar. who would've thought... strawberries, sour cream, and brown sugar. (thank you brother and sister thompson) ohhh! and strawberry lemonade.


fridge. come at me.