perfect kisses

want to hear a sappy love story? because it's 2:24AM, i cannot sleep, and surprisingly only one thing is on my mind. maybe i've been watching too much "one tree hill". (honestly though, i dont think so. because this isn't the only night i've lost sleep over this.)

high school. silly high school. who knew whatever would happen in those four years, a person would take with them forever. both the negative and the possitive, both would stick with you. cause whatever both of those were, those experiences were the baby steps of just what more is to come in life. except, less dramatic, less pimples, and hopefully more money. oh. and nicer cars.

but on nights like these, i forget about the negative and let the possitive intoxicate my mind. 

perfect kisses. anytime that song comes on i let "the apathy eulogy"  lullaby me off to some fantasy world. a perfect world, where there are no negatives, and everything works out for the greater good. no one leaves. everyone get's what they want. and memories are still being created with the people you want them to be created with most. 

but that world doesn't exist. people do leave and people don't always get what they want. if it were that easy, what would the point be?

ready for this sappy love story? (can't believe i'm doing this.)

sometimes i feel like one could call me the ice queen. love is such a far fetched concept for me to wrap my little redheaded mind around. to truly love someone with every fiber in your body. however, it hasn't always been a foreign concept to me.

because when i was 17 years old, i fell far far far into a big pot of perfect silly innocent love.

and beautiful it was. but again, remember that fantasy world, where everything works out? that world doesnt exist here. on this world, life is much different. and i'm beggining to realize that i can plan all i want. i can date whoever i want. i can do whatever i want. but at the end of the day, it really d o e s n ' t  m a t t e r. because at the end of the day, it's not my plan. it's God's, and He calls the shots. (little rascal.)

anyways, back to the sappy love story. i fell into this giant pot of perfect love. and then i graduated, moved away to go to school, and it ended. but did i stop thinking about it? no, because i'm human. but also because i was in love. i still catch myself facebook stalking, thinking, listening to old music, and wondering what if. what if! what if.

but that's not going to bring it all back. i'm a firm believer that if you truly love someone, you'll always love them. some might think i was a typical 17 year old girl, falling in casual highschool love. but this was far more real. so yes, i still think about it most days. but the time has gone and passed. lives change. people change. and remember, in the reality of it... it's not your plan.

so, where does that leave me now.

i am going on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. i am going to Maceió, Brazil and i leave April 3rd. and i cannot wait. along with leaving on this mission i will be leaving my family, my friends, my job, thecnology, and 
l o v e. 

why? because i know that God has a greater plan for me then i could ever imagine. i know if i do my part, He will do his. 

call me a Jesus freak. but i know my Reedmer lives, i cannot wait for this next chaper in my life. i will always love that boy who made my heart melt when i was 17. but if that was just a preview of the love i will find as i continue to learn and grow old on this earth......

bring it.


xocmjox