sunday

i've been listening to straight Motab all day long, and i'm loving it!

oh, and i found out that i have 73 rascal flatts songs on itunes, talk about a true fan right thur.

the only things i've ate all day have been dark chocolate roased almonds, chips and salsa, and a piece of french toast.

..i'm starving...

i've literally been sitting on my bed for hours, blogging like a nerd.

i've changed my shirt about 30 times.

i've heated my rice bag up about 30 times.

and i've drunken about 30 cups of water.

i haven't got bathroom all day long. (whaaat?)

i keep finding giant bruises on random parts of my body. can you say evil spirits?

deereey has been gone all day. uhm, i cuddle up with you last night and we both sleep in your twin bed and then you leave me alone all day? black people...

i really really really want to watch "10 things i hate about you".

i cant wait to go home this weekend.

i'm tired, but can't sleep. why.

i'm loving tylers random phonecalls.

i'm loving tyler.

wait, what?

i'm excited for me and tay's halloween costumes.

...i smell food..

i'm going to go eat some of that food.

byyeee!

respect is love in plain clothes

alright. it's time for a post aaalllll aboouut...!

waiiitt for it...

BOYS!!! ehhh!!! yayy!

but don't get too excited, it's not going to be that crazy.

just honest. 

over my many years of dating i've been realizing a few things that i love, and a few things i wouldn't mind lightening on fire and completely disintegrating. 

i've also heard some great stories that support my thinking that each and every girl should see some type of red flag whenever this happens.

this might be a little out there, but to be honest i don't really care

guys who completely maul a girl within days or even weeks of first meeting them are the most unattractive beings. 

did any of you ever watch disney movies? the only things they worried about in those times was even getting a kiss! not where to corner the poor girl whenever you two get alone.

now i don't know where you went to school, but where i'm from that considered sexual assault.  

there was a scripture they showed us (yes this is happening. i'm whipping out a scripture) back in the day at good ol' EFY that they reffered to dating.

1 Nephi 17:48 

Nephi is commanded to build a ship, so he builds it and him and his brothers float off to sea. at one point his brothers get angry AKA jealous with Nephi because he's so awesome (typical) and they're about to throw him into the ocean when he says to them;

"In the name of the Almighty God, I command you that ye touch me not, for I am filled with the power of God, even unto the consuming of my flesh; and whoso shall lay his hands upon me shall wither even as a dried reed; and he shall be as naught before the power of God, for God shall smite him."

now i know you're thinking "what the heck does this have to do with dating?"

 well, at EFY you know they lay the law down about dating.

they shared this scripture for us to think about whenever we were in a situation similar to the one i've already described.  

and you better believe that this ginger memorized this, and i would recite to my best friends parents thinking how i was soo funny and clever for memorizing such a thing.

but honestly. do you guys have idea who you're messing with?

in any minute i could have you "withered away even as a dried reed".

ya'll need to know that no girl wants you to mount her the very first time you meet her.

and if she wants you to, she probably doesn't have a brain. 

and let's go back to the disney movie ideas. every girl has that idea of a disney happily ever after branded into their minds.

every girl wants that prince charming to sweep her off her feet, treat her like a princess, and be incredibly nervous and anxious to give her that f i r s t k i s s .

so word to the wise, if you ever really truly want someone... dont be like Nephi's brothers..

if you know whats good, you bes be her prince charming.

the family is a haven in a heartless world

alright. i'll admit it.

i've watched "kim kardashians dream wedding" on E almost 70 times since it's premiered, ONLY BECAUSE they play reruns of it almost every day!

...and because at night i put a long black wig on and prance around pretending to be kim herself.

NOT. 

her wedding is probably the most extravagant and detailed wedding my little ginger eyes have ever seen. she only spent $20 million, and even had a wedding cake with the hefty price of $20,000. paahhhhh! when i hear $20,000 a think of a brand new car, or paying off my schooling. not a fetching cake.. that thing better of had pure gold in it.

anyways... behind all that money, i've came to realize that kim actually has a heart.

yes, an 11 ounce blood filled muscle.

you see, kim's dad died yeaarrs back and as she prepares for her wedding she realizes how much she really wishes her dad was there to walk her down the isle. 

she has a meltdown in part one (maybe part two, that's how extravagant this things was.. there's two parts!) and tells her step pape that she's forgetting what this is all really about.

and what is it all really about you may ask..

family

duh.

sometimes i have random nightmares about getting that phone call telling me someone in my family died, and then i wake up and facebook creep each and every one of my family members to my hearts content... and then i get over it.

moments like that are when i realize and remember how important my family is to me.

i dont think i've ever been so family oriented.

i'm missing my nephews and niece more and more as each day passes. 

sometimes i wish someone would chuck a sippy cup at my face, or rock my lip with a binky so i can somewhat pretend to be home dinking around with them.

i miss their silly little questions, and their stories that take hours to tell but if i told them it would take a minute tops. (those are the best stories.)

AND i want to hear the songs they learned at kindergarten, or hear them state the pledge of allegiance that they've just mastered for the first time.

i miss all of that.

and of course i miss my mama and pops. 

every time i hop on the back of my boy from 332's motorcycle and go for a joy ride i instantly think of sturgis and how painful my dads passenger seat was. 

...the one the size of a pokemon card and hard as asphalt...

but oh, how fun it was so sit on the back of that and ride for miles.

yes, i got sunburned practically to the core. yes, my hips were cramping the whole time. yes, i couldn't feel my bum whatsoever. and yes, everyone thought me and my dad were lovers.

but i will never forget that ride.

riding through each town my dad told me some type of story about it, and plus i straight up bonded with him for miles and miles.. clutching onto him like the iron rod.

now my mama... she's a riot.

i'm not sure what happened when me and scott left the big ML, and came down to utah but whatever it is... i like it.

she sends me the witty's texts and whenever i give her tude she owns me with comebacks.

it reminds me of a certain day my senior year. (dont worry guys.. i know what ya'll are thinking.. which day!? were drugs involved?! sorry to dissapoint.. but no..) anways! i was perched on our ottoman/giant footstool in our front room giving my mom sas as she fluttered around in the kitchen. my back was to her as we were giving each other a hard time about who knows what and as i was waiting for her comeback i heard something coming towards me and it was coming fast.. 

next thing i know there's my mom, throwing her palms at my shoulders and shoving me off the ottoman onto the ground. i'm pretty sure i just laid there like a new born baby calf, not knowing how to stand yet or anything, my eye's wide open, jaw dropped.

she sturtted back to the kitchen and let out a slight chuckle.

that was the day i knew my mama loved me.

now she even follows me on pinterest.

i can tell her anything and i use to not be able to do that, or even want to! but now i can't wait to call her up after a date, or vent to her about life.

even when she isn't listening and just watching people get arrested from outside of the office, (...seriously though) that women just keeps on surprising me.

now my siblings... i wish we were all midgets without a care in the world again.  

even though half of them have babies and live far far away, and are either doing a residency somewhere, still in school, or changing diapers we all find times to send each other nerdy texts or pictures of our bat cupcakes or halloween costumes.

one thing i miss the most is our sunday dinners where we would have to run and grab the piano bench so all of us could fit at the dinning table.

and when one of us would be a bit too sensitive and run downstairs mid meal after being picked on (cough. cough. me. probably for being a ginger or having albino skin), they always had someone chasing them to cheer them up.

now a days i never dare runaway from a meal, no matter how much i'm being picked on because not only am i still a ginger, or albino, i'm a heffer. 

now all i want to do now is listen to "ghetto cowboy" by bone thugs & harmony, since that was only our anthem as kids.

...and i want my mamas red velvet cake. 

or maybe her carmel bars..

or both.

 

4

cabin fever

this past weekend the relief society went to one of our bishoprics cabin up in sundance.

now i've heard about this cabin when they all went last year, and i heard all the chatter about it weeks before this one.

but nothing can describe how extravagant and perfect this cabin is until you see it with your own two eyes.

my mind was blown. you know mtv cribs? this cabin could of easily been on every episode of that show and it would never get old. 

i literally found something new around every corner. and yes, you may hear people say.."oh, the house was so big i got lost." but really they're lying, and the house wasn't that big.

that wasn't the case. there was moments when i honestly had no idea where i was.

talk about the perfect getaway. oh, and i love love love my relief society. 

this is the only ward that it all has actually clicked. 

it's almost as if we're all puzzle pieces and we need each other to make this beautiful picture.

and i can see this beautiful picture slowly forming.

each and every girl has something i need, and all of them bring out the best in me.

we need a group name, like a hardcore girl band.

like the spice girls, but better.

because we are so much better then spice girls, and they even have accents.

"this is where we fell in love"

a couple weeks ago me and desiree were waiting to go to the temple outside of our complex, when we saw a middle aged man squinting at each apartment looking all kinds of confused. 

ya'll have no idea how many people me and dez have helped find specific apartments, its like raintree is some type of corn maze on friday the 13th. people always get lost..

so of course we ask the man if he needs help finding an apartment.

he slowly turns towards us, hands in his pockets, an easy grin on his face, eye's glistening, and his black hair softly flowing in the utah breeze and he drags out a long "nooo" as he giggles to himself.

"i'm just remembering... this is where me and my wife met. this is where we fell in love." he said.

he pointed to my apartment (seriously my exact apartment), and then he pointed to my window. "she lived right there."

he then pointed to the boys apartment just right over the sidewalk, second floor to the left... "i lived there."

he then continued to tell us his story, all with his hands still in his pocket, a crooked grin, and eyes that looked like a seven year old in a candy shop.

"the first time i saw her she was standing on the balcony, pacing back and forth on the phone with who i figured was her boyfriend." 

then he stopped, laughed and looked at us with the expression of "duh" and said, "she was too pretty not to have a boyfriend."

then he continued, "that's how i first got her. i gave her a hard time about that phone call. it ended up being her mom, that made me feel smart. one day me and my roommate were sitting in our living room when we saw her screen fall out of her window and drop down the three stories. now this was the perfect opportunity. me and my roommate ran outside, grabbed the screen, ran up the flight of the stairs, and reinstalled it. we went back home, and not soon enough i saw a little hand push the screen back out again. this had now turned into a game, and i was going to win."

he stopped his story, shook his head and laughed.

"and i did win. she's forever mine."

i've never seen a grown man so stunned by his own love story.
with every sentence he giggled, and shook his head. almost as if he still couldn't believe he got her, that she was really all his.
i want my husband to share our story just like that man did.


it was perfect.

success doesn't come to you, you go to it

i am going to punch myself in my ginger face if i don't start blogging more.

provo is awesome, i think i've only said that about thirty times.

 having scott live so close is such a blessing.
i have an instant temple buddy, date guru, ATM (only because he has all of my money right now.. haha), and most importantly a brother.

aaaannnddd i've been noticing a lot of random facts about my little self.
#1 if i could marry my brita, i would.
#2 even though my closet throws up, i'm kind of a random neat freak when it comes to my room.
#3 if my bed isn't made, it looks like someone just spent their first night of marriage in my bed. what happens when i go to sleep? i. dont. know.
#4 i hate showering. but when i do shower, i shower long enough for five people.
#5 i am craving a trip to sundance. and not dinky little utah sundance, i'm talking dinky little WYOMING sundance. i want to ride a horse, run around my grandparents log house, chase peacocks, and look at goofy pictures of my dad.
#6 my boys in 332 are my everything. yeah, i just dropped that.
#7 i miss my nephews and niece. so badly.
#8 when me and my best friend are apart its like i'm missing an arm. breanna. come to me.
#9 i want a dog. or a baby kitty.
#10 i love ice cream. so much i eat it everyday. but i also love working out. so much i work out everyday.

so yeah, uhm. who's going to give me a baby kitty?

take pride in how far you have come and have faith in how far you can go

general conference was amazing.

maybe i've never really paid close attention, but wow.

this time around every talk hit me like a ton of bricks.

i was eating every word up, every question i had gone in with were all answered, and as conference sadly came to an end my heart was overflowing with pure joy.

     

when you're a child you depend solely on your parents testimony of the gospel. but as you grow up you're suppose to slowly develop a testimony of your own, one that your own children will someday depend on just as you once did.

i'm slightly embarrassed to actually admit this, but my testimony never really stood strong all by itself until this very day.

you know how when it comes to marriage, they say you just know when you know. you could be on the date of your life, or simply watching a movie.. but once you know, you just know.

that's how it was today. i was at the morning session of conference, President Thomas S. Monson had just finished his amazing talk, the tabernacle began to sing "I Believe In Christ" and then a switch flipped.

i know what ya'll are thinking.. IT'S ABOUT TIME!

but seriously, it IS about dang time!

  

i just knew.

THE CHURCH IS TRUE.

i wanted to shout it from the tops of the conference center!

like king kong on top of the chrysler building, except for the fact that i'm nothing like king kong and it would just be a crazy ginger hanging on for dear life, probably peeing her pants, and just screaming about how she finally truly knew that this gospel was the real deal.

  

BUT IT REALLY IS!

just by making a few small changes in my life, the difference has been like night to day.

three months ago the idea of actually reading my scriptures every day was a foreign concept. praying was only a night time activity, and an entire three hours of church was pure torture.

oh, and when i had a bad day i would just rock out to the used and go for a run, hating the world and everyone in it.

now look at me. 

i literally cannot go a day without reading my scriptures. if i don't do if before school i feel like i'm walking around with no pants on. there is just something important that the scriptures, and only the scriptures can fulfill. i pray. and i kind of pray a lot. i literally begin my day with prayer and continue to pray throughout the day until i get up from my knees and crawl into bed at night. i look forward to church. weird, right? and when i'm angry or having a sucky day.. get this... i go to the temple. is your mind blown or what?!

   

this girl, this girl i am right now is completely different then the girl i was three months ago. AND IT'S AWESOME. i feel like i got bit by a spider one day on a school field trip and woke up the next day all muscular and with spider webs flying out of my hands. but the best part of it all is that i'm not just happy, i'm filled with joy. i know that if i continue to do what i am doing i will be blessed with the things the Lord has promised me. He HAS TO hold up his end of the deal if i meet him right where he has set the expectation mark. 

i know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true, and i'm so happy to be able to say that and actually have a firm testimony of such a thing.

 

to truly know is something i hope everyone can bear testimony of someday. it's a feeling i want to shove in every cake i make so hopefully someone somewhere can get a preview of what it truly feels like. words can hardly explain.

but wow. it's 2:25AM and i am going to go to bed now.

i love this gospel, i love the people, i love it's leaders, and i love Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. the church is true ladies and gents. families are forever, we must trust in God's timing, and always remember that we are divine sons and daughters of our Eternal Father.

preach!

14

it's been 14 days since i've last blogged..

WHATS WRONG WITH ME?

to be honest, life has been too great to actually take out some time to sit down with my good ol' lappy. 

but tonight me and deereey got kicked out of apartment 336 by the raintree patrol, and have nothing else to do with our night. 

so here i am... finally blogging :)

did you know that you can print out an entire blog whenever you want with some fancy dancy website? and you know that's what i'm going to do at the end of this year.

i have no idea what made me want to even start blogging.

probably because i sucked at writing in my journal and felt retarded talking to myself.

plus, no one else read it. i guess journals are suppose to be personal and all, but i kind of like hearing that people actually read this.

i had a nudge that maybe some things i write are actually inspiring or interesting, but to hear that people actually wait for my posts blows my mind.

plus, i hated having these awesome experiences, writing them down, placing them who knows where, and then loosing them and never finding them again.

my senior year of high school my drill team coach gave all of us seniors a binded black book with pictures all the way back from our freshman year to our senior year.

pictures of state championships, national championships, drill team camps, football performances, and a long heartfelt paragraph from the legend herself; lori baker.

now you see, if she had never made this book all those memories would be no where but scattered in my little ginger skull.

but no, there in that book which now sits by my bed. always has since that night she gave them to us.

so what about all of MY memories? the ones i'm suppose to be journaling for my great grandchildren's, great grand kids to read once i'm long gone. yes, i still have my own more private journal i write deep dark secrets in.. but what about the daily things? the things that change my life. the things i want others to read hoping that they'll be somewhat affected by my own life experiences.

i've been thinking about how awesome this thing is going to be by january 1st. i started this a totally different girl then who i am now. (and the year isn't even over yet!)

but to whoever reads this someday, as they flip the pages they'll see an undeniable transformation.

a transformation that probably saved my life.

a transformation that made me the kind of girl i'm going to tell my kids i always was. you know, the perfect teenage your parents lie to you about.

this girl is becoming kind of awesome.

...and we're just getting started..

:)