tuesday, may 31st

songs of the week;

"runaway baby" - bruno mars

"somewhere in brooklyn" - bruno mars

"hello" - martin solveig & dragonette

"house of the rising sun" (american idol performance) - haley reinhart

"someone like you" - adele

"i feel pretty/unpretty" - glee cast

"give me everything" - pitbull feat. ne-yo, afrojack & nayer

concerts that are a must;

 BRUNO MARS

i didn't really even like the dude beforehand.

but holy shiz. he is amazing.

truly talented, gifted, AND SO SEXY.

i've never been so seduced at a concert before, and i will never get over it.

movies of the week;

i am number four

gnomeo and juliet

tyler perry's madea goes to jail

revenge of the bridesmaids

the last song

buys of the week;

bruno mars cd; doo-wops & hooligans (deluxe version)

forever 21 sandles

victoria secret underwear; 7 for $25! DEAL!
mac mineralize skinfinish face powder 

i'm so glad may is finally over. 

hello june. hello vegas. hello birthday.

1, 30, 31, 1

it's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life

this last friday; may 27th, 2011. matt and taylor got married. adorable, right? well it was. i've never seen a couple so happy. probably because i never pay attention at weddings or wedding receptions... but they looked so happy. heck! they are so happy.

ever since i started school i've vowed to myself that i'm not going to get married anytime soon. soon being in the next 10 or 12 years. now, pull your jaw back up and save your laughter. i say that in all seriousness. and i do have my reasons...

#1. i just straight up don't like boys right now. nooooooooooo, i'm not a fetching lesbian. i honestly just have zero interest in men right now. well no, i'm interested in men, just not boys. and it seems like that's all i'm surrounded by now a days. plus, i'm only 18. (almost 19!) men don't take this ginger seriously. but i'm okay with that. you know why? if you've been watching the bachelorette i'm sure you all know who "bad news bentley" is. and may i remind you where he's from? UTAH. yeeaaahh. no bueno.

#2. i've heard 12 too many stories about marrying the perfect guy and finding out he's either freddy krueger or brian david mitchell over night. i rather save myself from such mayhem.

#3. i dont want to get married, and then divorced. i know so many amazing women who have gone through the heartbreak of divorce. yes, they are ten million times stronger today than they were back then. and yes, most of them have been blessed with one in a million kind of husbands and wonderful lives, but most girls never think they'll divorce the man of their dreams. i want that almost perfect marriage the first time around.

those are all legitimate reasons i think.

but something taylor's dad said during his speech at the lunch in after their wedding struck me like a ton of bricks.

he said how he was told to live by the phrase; never go to bed angry. and after his wedding, after the honeymoon, and while life began to happen, he told us that if he never went to bed angry, he would never sleep! there were nights he went to bed angry, and that was okay. there is still nights that they both go to bed angry, and it is still okay.

he then said this; marriage is work. you both have found a good enough reason to get married, and every day you need to find a good enough reason to stay married. if possible, there is almost always a good enough reason to stay married.

and i believed him. 

you always hear marriage is hard, marriage is work, marriage is this, marriage is that. but on that friday afternoon i finally got it all. 

so maybe this ginger believes in a happily ever after after all.


maybe not.


but i get it.

there arent enough days in the weekend

i've waited way to long to blog....

mum came in thursday night, and then memorial weekend began :)

it would take me years to write about how awesome this weekend was. man, do i ever miss my family. this little visit was exactly what i needed. 


...but now i really miss home.

aaaaaaaanyyways. to save myself some time, and  some major finger crampage.. i've made a list of things that make this weekend so great.

it was girls weekend, ALL WEEKEND. just mum, tay, steph, and me. oh, and mason. so maybe not exactly a girls weekend? but close enough.  
movie nights that will last me a life time. 
cupcakes, ice cream, and desserts... oh my.
raiding forever 21. thanks mum.. :)
frozen yogurt.
seeing james mitchell after a long two years.
family galore. 
getting slightly sunburned. 
watching oliva become a soccer state champion.
giggling with taylor at church.
watching mum make her fountain drink a suicide drink as she mixed every flavor imaginable.
introducing mum to kazoozles.
giving taylor purple hair extentions.
getting enough scensty blocks and febreze to make my bedroom and bathroom smell like heaven for life.
NEW BOOKS :) (wow, i almost just threw up. that is so nerdy)
seeing young love. some of it disgusted me, but matt and taylor made me want it.
chillin' at the temple all morning.
seeing castle's. 
going to an amazing concert with a great friend and singing like a lunatic.
falling in love... with bruno mars..
having bruno mars thrust himself at me.
squeezing in some good ol' cousin bonding time.
not doing any hair all weekend. 
new makeup and more hangers.
a fridge full of food.
taking taylor shopping at target.
jamming out to JB in the rental car.
staying up late, and sleeping in.
having email  battles with scotter.
puddle jumping solo.
cuddling with mason while he drooled on my shoulder. 
being introduced to a photographer so he could snap a few shots of this. (*hands scanning down my ginger body*)
finally getting some eye cream. hey, it never too early to start that crap. after 20.. my cologne will start a fadin!
seeing my grandmother.
photographing beautiful people.
cute new undies. 
dancing around, singing into my fist. what of it?
going to walmart at 12:30 AM with my mum, and not leaving until 2:00 AM.
finally getting my ipod back into my loving hands.
talking to cady groves via facebook and twitter. 
and of course, being surrounded with my loved ones the entire time.


i miss you all already.

tuesday's child is full of grace

i have a lot of random things i want to tell you all, but there is no way i can write paragraphs on such simple things.

so, here are some random things i need to write about before i cuddle up with myself in bed.

oh, and yes. it is possible to cuddled up with yourself.

i just realized i drink 4 liters of water a day. which is way over the whole, "eight glasses a day" crap. save some for the fish? make me.

haley reinhart's american idol hits off of itunes, are a must. stop reading this, and go buy them. those bad boys have been on repeat all day. 

after today, only 70 more days and scott is home :)

i got hooker nails. no joke. i guess, "a little bit longer" means claws. no finger tips needed, i'm typing with my long A nails right now. the color is wonderful though.

i made 6 mini cheesecakes yesterday afternoon. there is only two left. oops.

my toms are falling apart. mama was right, but they're my favs. gah.

lady gaga's new album is redonkulous. i love it. amazing i tell you. 

oh, and beyonce's new hit? i might be a little obsessed. the whole "run the world" girls thing, ohh yeaaahh. right up my alley. 

MY MAMA AND TAYLOR WILL BE IN UTAH ON THURSDAY!

all the covers and collaborations of "pure imagination", "isn't she lovely", and "i feel pretty/unpretty" by glee... are my thang right now. 

 stop hanging out with my friends.

i'm beyond impatient for this weekend. i get to see james, attend a wedding, eat butt loads of wedding cake, take pictures galore, hang with family all day, hopefully lots and lots of good news, and giggles for sure.

does anyone else know that justin bieber is releasing his own perfume? smart kid. i'll be the first buyer.

tomorrow, i'll fill you all in on my interview at forever 21. spoiler alert! i'm still unemployed.
 
"revenge of the bridesmaids" is a great netflix "watch instantly"choice.

 that is all.

goodnight creeps

:)

 7, 30, 31, 1

lend me your eyes and i can change what you see, but your soul must you keep totally free

awake my soul

it is not down in any map; true places never are

this weekend i headed on up to rexburg to visit my dear sweet cousin, ashley.

it was a quick trip. just an over nighter to be exact,  but it was so much fun.  

we got in saturday afternoon, and that night ashley and all of her roommates were throwing a mocktail party. pretty much a cocktail party without the alcohol. there was a strict dress code, so we all pulled out our sparkly dresses and the boys whipped out their suits. 


the lights were dimmed, ashleys playlist was bumpin, and before we knew it the room was filled with pina coladas, strawberry daquaris,  and beautiful people. lots of beautiful people.
lots of beautiful boys.


i think rexburg was where i was suppose to go. not gay utah. i will just come out and say it, i seriously hate living here. yes, there are malls, tons of restaurants, movie theaters,  and so much more. but that's it. no creativity, no originality, nothing fresh and exciting. it's the same thing every day. out in rexburg with the lack of so much to do, they make their own fun. that's what i loved about moses lake, you would make your own fun and whatever fun that was it was actually enjoyable. i had more fun in idaho for those 24 hours, then i've had since living in utah for the past nine months. 


i miss it already.

sunday, may 22nd 2011

i wish i could have been there.


seeing the videos of victims that survived, whether they crawled out from under a crumbled gas station or out of their storm shelter. and then seeing the videos of people searching for their loved ones, the ones missing or even dead... made me want to be there so badly.

not just there for the after math, but through the entire thing. the before, the during, and the after. to experience such a thing to snap me back to the reality of life, and to forget about all the stupid little things that don't really matter. and to be there after, to help search and comfort the many who wouldn't be reunited with their loved ones that night. 

a lot of the time i ask myself how i could be so in love with something so destructive, so evil.
and every time, i can't find an answer. the rush of such a uncontrollable force of nature fascinates me, but the devastation afterwards makes me crumble. 

my cousin alena, was one of the lucky ones. her and her children were in the heart of this tornado, and thankfully they suvived.


monday morning she posted this on her facebook;

"I am watching the sun come up while my kids sleep beside me..scratched, bruised but not broken. They were at 2604 Adele, a two story house-leveled, only recognizable to me by Avin's guitar and empty backpack under the rubble. I hit my knees and prayed, began digging and searching. Lynn and I searched for 3 hours and finally got a text in saying they were ok. By God's Grace and Jesus' hand, Aries crawled out and found help to get Avin and Krista out. Aries and a man with a cut foot (she said) helped her lift the stairs, etc. No words can explain. I cant believe what i saw. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all your prayers everyone. But it's not over; there are so many who don't get to kiss their loved ones this morning. They need our prayers. Krista was taken to Springfield, in stable condition now. My kids waited and prayed with passersby after Krista was taken to Freeman and until Rhonda (the landlord) came and took them with her and waited until we could get to them. Thank you Krista and Rhonda for protecting them. I hope everyone kisses their kids' faces today and gives thanks for each and every moment. Jesus loves our children and hears their prayers."

the tornado that hit joplin is the deadliest single tornado to hit the US since 1953.


many are still searching, some will never recover, and some will never be found.

to help in the relief of joplin you can text "REDCROSS" to 90999 to make a $10 donation. you can also visit the redcross website to donate, give blood, or volunteer. 

i hope after seeing so many natural disasters strike our world in these past few months each and every one of you will realize how precious the human life is. take advantage of every moment to tell your loved ones exactly how much you love them, spend time with them, take pictures, laugh, and give thanks for every minute that you're lucky enough to have them in your life.

may God bless you all

7 30 31 1

the doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live

confessions of they day;

i ate 6 squares of premade cookie dough after school.

i'm obsessed with the show, make it or break it.

i waxed my upper and lower lip today.

i changed my outfit about 20 times.

i've checked me email about 96 times.

i want this certain something so incredibly bad.

songs of the day;

"stand up" - jessie j

"rainbow" - jessie j

"arms" - christina perri

"pure imagination" - glee

"judas" - lady gaga
"the taste of ink" - the used

"the lonely" - christina perri

"look at me now" -chris brown ft. lil wayne and busta rymes

"party rock anthem" - LMFAO ft. lauren bennett and goonrock
"your own disaster" - taking back sunday

"tonight tonight" - hot chelle rae

"not gonna leave this bed" - maroon 5

doomsday is not going to be this saturday, may 21st 2011.

that's a buncha crock.

i'm craving a cupcake, or five.

i can't wait for SYTYCD this upcoming wednesday.

i miss my family.

12 30 31 1

don't ask what they world needs, ask what makes you come alive

today i totally got conned into get a membership at golds gym.
but hey! it was a great discounted price, and they're only do month to month contracts now.
legit, right?

so i hit the gym up tonight, and saw the cutest down syndrome man.
he stood at about 4 feet and 8 inches tall, was walking around from machine to machine with the biggest smile, and was ripped.
...and he totally caught me creeping on him countless number of times.

i'm so sore.
which shows me how out of shape i am.
my new goal; get disgustingly large lady muscles.

just kidding.

...maybe.

i meant what i said, and i said what i meant... an elephants faithful-one hundred percent

since no one will see the fetching movie with me, after about a week and a half of reading a few chapters every night before i went to bed, i finally finished "water for elephants."


i'm kind of wishing i would have cooled it down a little while reading it, because i'm so bummed that i've already finished it! it's brilliant. not a boring sentence through out the entire thing. sara gruen is a genius.

definitely an 8 out of 5 stars kind of book.

i hope that you catch me, 'cause i'm already falling

i just bought christina perri's entire cd.

if you know what good music is, i suggest you do the same.

 (ignore the storm watch.  unless you live wherever they're broadcasting, then pay attention)

wow.
last night's glee episode just ripped me apart.
my telly only gets a whopping 15 spanish channels, so i always have to catch glee on hulu the day after.

and wwwwooooowwwwww.
i would recommend that none of my family and friends watch it.
i literally had mascara dripping off my face, and was doing the cry were your lips start to shake, and then tears build up quickly and fall fast. where you try to let out some kind of sound, but only get out a yelp that sucks all the airs out of your lungs and your human function of breathing is gone.

family is everything to me, and my little sister is my world, so you bet that this ginger cried like a baby through the whole thing.

thanks a lot glee.

gah.

nothingness not being nothing, nothingness being emptiness

i hate nightmares. but then again, who doesnt?

i honestly have no idea why all of a sudden this year i have been bombarded with dream after dream. most of them unforgettable, all of them with some meaning behind them.

today i woke up horror-struck. i rolled out of bed, went into the bathroom, flipped on the light switch, grabbed my tooth brush, and began brushing. still terrified from what i had woken up from, i was staring at my feet trying to forget every single image that was still flashing across my mind like pictures in a hand held plastic toy picture slide i played with as a little girl. you know, the one that you would stick the thick sheet of paper who's outside brim is covered in pictures, into the plastic goggle like picture viewer.

so i stood there, staring at my feet, trying to erase that dream, and then a long sliver spider crawled out from under my toes and ran across my tiled floor. 

my heart stopped for seconds, and the dream ran right through me again.

it was me and stephanie.

we were walking through a destroyed city.

buildings were smoking, there was nothing to see but rubble, and every person i made eye contact with looked empty. there was nothing in anyone's eyes, only stephanies.

and the look in her eye's was panic.

there was a long line under a concrete bridge. the one that cars would drive over at late hours of the night, and the kind the homeless would live under.

the line was formed under this bridge, and against a chain fence that surrounded a productive factory.

a terrifying factory. one who's steam that rose from it's vents nearly looked like the devil's smirk itself. 

those who i told you about before, the ones that looked empty, got in line and began to wait. 

shuffling farther and farther away as the line began to move.

not knowing what else to do, me and stephanie took a spot in line.

we weren't the only ones whose eyes were filled with fear.

as we watched everyone else, the others stricken with fear stood out like an elephant in a chicken coop.

we scanned the line when we spotted my aunt and uncle, jana and brad.

and with them, our cousins.

they had that same terrified look in their eyes.

me and stephanie ran to them, and when we opened our mouths to talk, nothing came out.

we had so much to ask, so much to tell, so much to question.

but nothing. nothing came out.

so we stood in line. 

as we grew closer and closer to the front of the line, we found ourselves in a stepford neighborhood.

it was dark, and the dim street lights barely illuminated the cold and wet black top we stood on... still in line.

we were close enough to see the front of the line, and there was a man holding a list.

by him stood another man, or women, or child.

i instantly identified these people as part of some kind of cult. 

 they didn't look right. 

they had that empty look, and a smile that literally reached ear to ear.

their eyes were over sized for their small skulls, and their fragile body had such unbelievable strength.

the man would look at whoever was at the front of the line, mumble something to them, and then tell the person with him in this "cult", to take them away.

as they did, the innocent individual would yell a blood curdling scream and fight to break from the cult members grip.

as we watched no one could escape the grip of the boney white arms that encircled them.

and as badly as we wanted to get out of line, we couldn't.

our legs would barely let us shuffle our way in line, let alone run away from any of the disfigured beings that surrounded us.

it was our turn.

stephanie grabbed my hand, and then looked at the man.

we told him of our mother in washington, with our down syndrome little sister.

and of our dad in north dakota.

and of our brother in mexico.

and the babies that our sisters were pregnant with, when he stopped us, and told us to enter the neighborhood.

confused we walked hand in hand to the first hiding spot we could find.

a luscious tree house.

we had climbed to the top room, when we heard our cousins, aubree and megan climb into the tree house as well.

they had gotten free from the man, but they weren't alone. 

they had brought three teenage boys with them. 

me and stephanie sat at the top of the tree house and listened.

these boys weren't right, their voices were filled with some evil poison, and aubree and megan were feeding off of them.

i looked at stephanie and asked if we should go down and let them see us.

she looked me in the eyes and said; "no way in hell."

next thing i knew we were on the ground outside of the tree house.

we could still hear the boy's voices, stephanie grabbed me, and we began to walk up the street.

the line was still visable from where we were, as was the tree house, and the empty eyed people that flashed an empty tooth smile at us as we passed them.

it was as if we were in a perfect ghost town.

trash had consumed the sidewalks, and the perfect houses that lined the street had their lights dimmed to the perfect eery hue.

stephanie kept telling me we were getting out of here, and she scanned house by house until we were infront of a one story tan broken windowed home. 

we walked to the front door, and stephanie opened it. 

we then walked inside, and as i looked to my right i saw a man and women staring at the water in the over sized pool that was in their front living room.

distracted by whatever was being shown to them in the water, stephanie found their car keys, and we were out.

she unlocked the car, i opened my door that now, wouldn't shut, and got in.

as soon as stephanie started the engine, the three boys that had been in the tree house just minutes before were marching up the street, staring us in the eye.

their eye's weren't empty, they were filled with rage, and they were chanting.

stephanie hit the gas, and we were flying down the street.

we were about to reach the three boys when our cousin megan passed the car.

it was like in the movie the ring. when samara crawls out of the tv and petrifies her victims, leaving their face distorted and ruined.

that was what megan looked liked, they had gotten her.

aubree was no where to be found.

and before we knew it the three boys were right in front of us.

other disfigured cult members began walking towards the car, with their ear to ear smiles, they knew we weren't changed yet.

they were coming to change us.

stephanie grabbed my hand, and i heard her begin to sob.

then i woke up.

show em what you're worth

i keep finding better versions of my girl K.P....

i love.

may 16th, 4:46

not too shabby, not too shabby..

how much of human life is lost in waiting

today was interview day at forever 21, A.K.A. my favorite store on the face of this earth.

i spent all weekend at stephanie and kritt's, so kritt generously gave me ride on over to the mall this morning before his 1:00 class at UVU. we got there at 12:30, and there i was... two hours early. 

and being two hours early was the best thing that happened to me! i headed over to radio shack, got myself an internet cord or as i like to call, it an"alien finger". so now i can blog whenever i want! this ginga is fully connected. too bad the 7inch one isn't long enough! who knew my room was so long. oh well, i am beyond grateful to finally have working internet. i am going to write scott the juiciest emails..

now that the royal wedding is over, bath and body works is selling all of it's british products for 50% off. and if you're my true friend, you will know that i am obsessed with anything british. pretty much i robbed the place of hand sanitizers, delicious soap, and air freshers all for under $12! can you say DEAL?! i still have a head ache from sniff testin all of the scents.

i had an hour to spare, so i got elbow deep in the oh so famous mall pretzel bites, and the book that i am so close to finishing, "water for elephants".

finally 2:20 rolls around, i walk into forever 21, and ask for camille. well, low and behold... the interview was cancelled, and they rescheduled it for the same time next week. my reaction; i big snooki like yell; WAH! i caught the next bus and headed home.

i'm kind of relieved that it was changed to another day, because i'm not going to lie.. i was a little nervous. but then again, i am the most impatient girl you will ever meet.

if this week doesn't end as soon as possible, my life will.

16 30 31 1

smores

after looking at my computer for so long, all i see is this;

.....it is time for a late night snack my friends..

if you don't reach for the moon, you can't fall on the stars

<3

a people free to choose will always choose peace

i do realize that i've been slacking on my blogging these past few weeks, but i don't have a trace of wifi at my apartment. lame, i know....

BUT! my favorite coffee lounge thingy in provo has free wifi for any paying customers, which would be me :) (they're italian sodas are bomb)

this place is adorable, and the perfect place for me to cuddle up to my laptop. plus, they have these beautiful flowers..

(zero editing people. zero. talk about gaawwjuss)

18 30 31 1 

"lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all, but lend me your heart and i'll just let you fall. lend me your eyes i can change what you see, but your soul you must keep totally free"

just once i want my life to be like an 80's movie

"whatever happened to chivalry? does it only exist in 80's movies? i want john cusack holding a boombox outside my window. i wanna ride off on a lawnmower with patrick dempsey. i want jake from sixteen candles waiting outside the church for me. i want judd nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason."

note to self; don't wait so long to clean your fish bowl

i have the most odd, but adorable fish. well, to me at least.
they cost a fortune, so they better be cute.
a whole 28 cents at walmart for my two golfish, beyonce and destiny's child.
when i first bought them they were the same size, but outta no where one got ten times the size of the other.
hinting why one is named beyonce, and the other destiny's child... we all know who is the hot shot singer now. 

anyways, since fish are the only pet's i can afford, and barely keep alive right now, they're my babies. too bad i wait weeks to clean their bowl. they're filthy animals i tell you. filthy. 

last night after i captured them in some cups, i dumped the water down the drain and then the gagging came. their water smelled like sewage. and yes, i could see their string like poo everywhere. i scrubbed, and rinsed, and scrubbed again with bowling water until that baby was crystal clear. the fish were reborn into their fish bowl, and all was well.

the longer i wait to clean that bowl, the more dreary my poor fish get. they always just lurk around and then there i am, checking on them every minute of the day to make sure they're not dead! but after they're given clear water and walls they can actually see through they're practically have seizures due to how happy they are. they hit the glass wall with their faces, thinking it's actual ocean water... they're doing flips in and out of their bowl, playing hide and seek behind they're coral, and having wild parties. 


as i sat in bed, creeping on beyonce and destiny's child, i couldn't help then to get nerdy deep. 

thinking about how much happier i am when i have no worries.. when my personal "fish bowl" is clean. i'm acting exactly like my ADD fish. happy, without a care, and running into walls. but when my so called fish bowl is dirty, i'm a total loser. being a bum, not doing anything or hanging out with anyone, and i'm eating ben and jerry's every night! this filth that i've allowed myself to slowly collect can start out as something so small. like stubbing my toe, burning my tongue on my burrito, spilling on my favorite shirt, and hitting my head on the wall.. all at the same time. and then it might lead up to slacking at school, gossiping, borrowing money and not returning the favor, or forgetting what a shower was. and if i let it get any more out of hand it slowly can turn into absolutely hating life. coming home from school, putting in a DVD, avoiding any text's or door bell rings, and calling it a night. don't act like none of you have purposly avoided doing anything with anyone. i know i have!

sometimes i let myself get in this rut for days, or sadly.. weeks! but the second i clean my fish bowl... life is good. i'm happy. 


so for any of you swimming around in a filthy fish bowl, don't wait to clean it. the longer you wait the darker the walls get, the oxygen slowly disappears, and eventually you're alone.

no winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn

earlier this week it was way too beautiful to sit inside, so i went for a run.

well, that run soon turned into a walk. and then that walk turned into a nature walk.

total granola girl moment, right?

i had my camera, so of course i had to snap a few photos.

today's high was 71. 

hey spring, nice of you to finally join the party...

 

guess who

 

hayley, rihanna, katy, gaga, fergie, beyonce, madonna 

she said her name was a hand me down name, from the side of a family that long ago came

craving; a powerful desire for something

i'm craving;

a bonfire.
s'mores.
da beach.
and a cuddle buddy.

...who's down?

"i'm looking for elder moberg"

kellie: "she's crying already."

dad: "did it not work?"

scott: "hello?"

one hour, and nine minutes was barely enough time for a phone call from my brother who is  1, 759.1 miles away.

no one will ever understand how important that one phone call every 5-7 months is until they have their own missionary. and no, not your missionary that you're head over heels for, or the one that's been writing you all those months. the missionary who is your brother or son. the one that's in all your childhood memories, who fought your battles for you, drove you anywhere you begged him to, let you hang out with his friends, and the one who hit on all of your friends... 

i cannot wait for the return of my best friend. 

we will tear this town apart. 

all that i am or hope to be, i owe to my angel mother

happy mothers day to the greatest mum in the world

leslie moberg

(we need some better pictures of the two of us)

 i will always be in debt to you.

i will never know a love so Christ like.

always loving me no matter what, and pushing me towards my potential.

...whether i knew i had so much potential or not.

i'll never forget our deal, and i will always be your diamond.

BWR

only the best are bullied

before i begin this post; no, i am not getting bullied by some over sized child or terrorist wannabe. thankfully i cannot remember one time in my life when i have been bullied, but for the past few months i've seen nothing but bullying around me, and it's heartbreaking.

not once have i ever seen something so destructive. 

nothing makes me more disappointed or heartbroken than to sit and listen to people as they pick out an innocent human, and slowly rip them apart.
the person doesn't even have to make eye contact, or even be in the same room for these bullies to begin calling them a fat, ugly, or disgusting. 


if it makes me sad to hear such destructive comments that aren't even about me... i can't even begin to fathom the amount of tears that would fall down their cheeks if they were in earshot of half the things falsely being pinned against them. and they get these attacks for what?
walking home carrying their groceries, being "too loud" as they attempt to climb the stairs, hands full of books. not being a size zero, or having airbrushed skin. looking a little too happy as they send a shy intimidated smile your way. walking home alone from a eight hour shift they just completed. those all are great reason's to verbally attack someone. 

oh, but don't think that if you hide inside at home for the rest of your lives that you are safe from such bullies. they're armed with phones, facebook, myspace, twitter, yearbooks, and their own imaginations to entertain themselves. 

i literally become physically sick as i witness criticism after criticism. but it's interesting to hear what happens after the victim is gone. when the computers are put away and the phones are neglected. 

the bullies turn against themselves. suddenly they are the fat ugly ones. the one's with a terribly home life, with siblings they've never talked to, or parent's that abuse them. the one's with boyfriends or girlfriends that could care less about them, but they're are wrapped up in their every word, whether it be positive or not. the ones that have few to no friends to come home to at the end of the day and actually have a good time with. they are the ones that at the end of the night wonder what the secret is to the true happiness they allow themselves to open their eye's up to every once in a blue moon.

they're the insecure ones that want to know everybody's secret, but are too busy degrading every human that crosses their path.

they are the ones that will get no where. 

they are the true victims.

see that girl right there?

the one you just called fat?
she's been starving herself, and she's lost 30 pounds.

the one you just called stupid?

she has a learning disability. she studies 6 hours per night.

the one you just called ugly?

she spends over 3 hours putting makeup on.

the one you just called a baby?

you would be crying too if your mother was dead.

the one you just tripped?

i think she's abused enough at home.

there's a lot more to a person than you think.

where art thou wifi

okay. now i'm just getting extremely frustrated. 
when i first moved in i could steal wifi constantly, from any room in this apartment. 
now i'm limited to the kitchen, family room, and if i'm lucky... the bathroom.

surprisingly, i just found some i can use in my room. but with my luck it'll disappear in the next two minutes.

SO, preee sure it's about time to invest in some wifi. anyone know some good quality cheapy ones?   (if anything can be cheap, and of good quality?) let me know!

"justice has been done"

may 1st, 2011

9 years, 7 months, and 20 days after September 11th, 2001

President Barack Obama delivered this statement to the nation at  10:35 P.M. CST:

"The United States of America has conducted an operation that has killed

Osama bin Laden, the leader of al Qaeda, and a terrorist who's responsible for the murder of thousands of innocent men, women, and children."

"The images of 9/11 are seared into our national memory -- hijacked planes cutting through a cloudless September sky; the Twin Towers collapsing to the ground; black smoke billowing up from the Pentagon; the wreckage of Flight 93 in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, where the actions of heroic citizens saved even more heartbreak and destruction."

"On that day, no matter where we came from, what God we prayed to, or what race or ethnicity we were, we were untied as one American family."

"We were also united in our resolve to protect our nation and to bring those who committed this vicious attack to justice. We quickly learned that the 9/11 attacks were carried out by al Qaeda -- an organization headed by Osama bin Laden, which had openly declared war on the United States and was committed to killing innocents in our country and around the globe. And so we went to war against al Qaeda to protect out citizens, our friends, and our allies."

"Over the last 10 years, thanks to the tireless and heroic work of our military and our counterterrorism professionals, we've made great strides in that effort. We've disrupted terrorist attacks and strengthened  our homeland defense. In Afghanistan, we removed the Taliban government, which had given bin Laden and al Qaeda safe haven and support. And around the globe, we worked with our friends and allies to capture or kill scores of al Qaeda terrorists, including several who were a part of the 9/11 plot."

"Yet Osama bin Laden avoided capture and escaped across the Afghan border into Paskistan."

"So shortly after taking office, I directed Leon Panetta, the director of the CIA, to make the killing or capture of bin Laden the top priority of our war against al Qaeda, even as we continued out broader efforts to disrupt, dismantle, and defeat his network."

"Last August, after years of painstaking work by our intelligence community, I was briefed on a possible lead to bin Laden."

"Today, at my direction, the United States launched a targeted operation against the compound on Abbottabad, Pakistan. A small team of Americans carried out the operation with extraordinary courage and capability. No Americans were harmed. They took care to avoid civilian casualties. After a firefight, they killed Osama bin Laden and took custody of his body."

"The death of bin Laden marks the most significant achievement to date in our nation's effort to defeat al Qaeda."

"Tonight, we give thanks to the countless intelligence and counterterrorism professionals who've worked tirelessly to achieve this outcome. The American people do not see their work, nor know their names. But tonight, they feel the satisfaction of their work and the result of their pursuit of justice."

"We give thanks for the men who carried out this operation, for they exemplify the professionalism, patriotism, and unparallelled courage of those who serve our country. And they are part of a generation that has borne the heaviest share of the burden since that September day."

"Finally, let me say to the families who lost loved ones on 9/11 that we have never forgotten your loss, nor wavered in our commitment to see that we do whatever it takes to prevent another attack on our shores." 

"And tonight, let us think back to the sense of unity that prevailed on 9/11. I know that it has, at times, frayed. Yet today's achievement is a testament to the greatness of our country and the determination of the American people."  

"Let us remember that we can do these things not just because of wealth or power, but because of who we are; our nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."