we will never forget

i remember exactly where i was when those planes struck the twin towers.
my 9 year old ginger self had rolled out of bed, rubbing my eyes and pulling on my pajama's as i walked like a zombie up the stairs, and down the hall, finding my way to my mothers bathroom.
i'll never forget seeing her leaning against her bathroom counter top, hair freshly blow dried, her green and cream floral robe wrapped around her, and her mouth slightly opened, her eye's nearly becoming dry as she stared at the television that was mantled above her jetted bathtub. 
i asked her what was going on, and without letting her eye's leave the television, she reached her hand out to me and said... "come watch."
my size 13 feet stepped onto the cold tile, i walked over to my mother, and i then let myself take in something i will never forget.


i was scared to go to school that day. my 9 year old instincts couldn't allow myself not to be. looking back at i can't help but laugh. i was all the way in washington, and obviously nothing happened. but still, on that day getting on the bus, leaving my mother, and not being able to play with my plastic people dolls all day was the last thing i wanted to do. believe it or not, i survived and was able to attend dance and make it home just in time for dinner that night.


my father was the fire chief for years. i remember hanging out at the sation, for whatever reason on random days, and looking around at the many over sized trinket's he had decorated his office with over the years. one in particular is the one i always think back to, before my homemade father's day cards and framed photo's of myself and my siblings. my mum had gave it to him after september 11th. it was a figurine of two or three fireman raising an american flag over the rubble left behind once the twin towers collapsed. i would stare at it and envision that day over and over again. wishing something so massively destructive never happened again.


i'm still unsure if it's because of my womanly instincts that i'm so protective over the ones i love, or if it's because i know they can be taken away from me at any moment.