we got in thursday night, explored the hotel, grabbed a midnight snack at a cute old fashioned diner inside the hotel, and then hit the sack.
friday, after doing some much needed sun bathing, we hit the strip! we walked through almost every hotel, saw street performing after street performer, spent hours in H&M, saw the oh so famous kardashians, and stuffed our faces at the cheesecake factory.
saturday, me and miriam sun bathed yet again and then went to the hair show. which was nuts! so many vendors and performers! and let's not forget the people! i've never been surrounded by such a vast amount of beautiful human beings and scary human beings. it was somethin' else. after spending all afternoon at the hair show, and getting mistaken for being drunk countless number of times... (i was too happy for a sober ginger in vegas apparently) we went back to the hotel, got our party pants on, bought tickets for the bus, and off we were to tackle the strip yet again! one cool thing you can do in vegas, (which all of you should keep in mind next time you go) is buy this black wrist band at ceasers palace, or any other buffet linked into this deal, and what that wrist band does for you is that it gets you into seven different buffets on the strip at some big hotels, anytime you want, for the next 24 hours. talk about a deal. so me and miriam bought two of those bad boys and got belly happy at the buffet in ceasers palace. delish i tell you! that night we ventured to the M&M and coca-cola factory! i got myself a giant diet coke.. literally. it was huge. and then we went home suffering from blistered feet. (oh, did i mention me and miriam got lost trying to even find the hair show? we walked many unneeded miles)
sunday, you guessed it. we sun bathed all morning! then me and miriam ran to the flamingo buffet for brunch, then on to the hair show. that day we saw two ladies with the longest nails and toe nails i've ever seen. they had been growing them out for 16 years, and they were curling in all kinds of directions! ya'll will have to check my facebook for pictures later. it was kind of disgustingly cool? if that's even possible? then we did the some old routine. came home, change, and hopped on the bus. you all are probably wondering why we even took the bus this entire time? because me and miriam were the only party animals in our group of ladies! the others stayed at home, and to be honest. the bus ride was extremely entertaining. you wouldn't believe the kinds of people you meet on it. unforgettable. that night we went to the buffet at planet hollywood. BEST BUFFET EVER! they had delish pasta, watermelon, salad, pizza, fajitas, ice cream, egg rolls, fried rice, and cotton candy! yes, cotton candy. i was in heaven. thankfully we beat the rush too! afterwards we explored more hotels and finished the night by watching the fountain show at the bellagio. so beautiful.
then monday came. i'm going to attempt to give you the most condensed version possible, so i'm not up all night pounding on my keyboard... alright. let's begin. the plan was to leave at 11:00AM. check out time. makes sense right? our hotel pool didn't open until 9:00, so me and miriam came back to the room at 10:00, and our other travel mate.. let's call her suzy.. is gone. straight up gone, and so are all of her belongings. our first thought... maybe she left us. but oh, not yet. suzy texted miriam to tell her she was waiting in the car for us. my thought? "i hope she has air conditioning." we rushed to get ready, packed everything up, triple checked the room to make sure we didn't forget anything, checked out, and met suzy in the parking garage. she didn't say a word to us, which makes sense since she had been waiting on us for an hour now, but who's fault is that? we took off. 2 hours into the hot drive, miriam is in and out of sleep in the back seat, i'm zoned into my ipod, and before either of us know it suzy has exited in a city three hours away from provo and is pulling into a random broken down mexican restaurant. i ask her what we're doing, and that neither miriam or i are hungry. but of course neither of us matter at the moment. she's meeting old friends for lunch. so me and miriam wait in the car. we wait, and wait. and wait. an hour has gone by, and now we're hungry. so we tell suzy we're walking to pizza hut, which is two stores over, to grab some food. we get to pizza hut, eat, and another hour passes. no word from suzy. i call her. "uhm. where are you?" "still with friends. we're going to hang out for a few more hours." "nooooo. me and miriam want to go home. this isn't part of the plan, and you didn't tell us that you were going to hang out with friends all afternoon. we're paying for the gas you're using right now, and we need to leave." "fine. then you can find your own ride home. i'll drop your things off at your apartment. you're not my problem anymore." click.
WHAAAAAAA?! okay psycho. we attempt to call, and call, over and over again. miriam is texting her, with short replies every minute or so. another hour goes by and now i'm in life size chucky mode. even if she did came back and get us, i'd rather be put through a paper shredder and then dipped in lemon juice then sit in a car with her for another 3 hours. we don't hear anything. so i call stephanie, and she gives me the grand idea of giving suzy the option of either coming back and taking us home, or calling to police to report our things as stolen. so i do just that. i call suzy, of course no answer, so i leave a message telling her what the down low is. i give her three minutes to call me back, or i'll be calling the po po on her bipolar A. she doesn't call back, and soon the cop is at pizza hut, repeatedly calling her until she finally picks up, and then he begins screaming at her. who knows what she was telling him, but oh. was he ripping her apart. she had made it two hours away, and has to now turn around and come give us our things, but refuses to give us a ride home. which at this point, i don't really care about. i just want my things before she starts smelling my clothes and fantasizing about who knows what. but we still have one problem. how are we going to get home? it's too late for stephanie to come pick us up, so she tells me to say a quick prayer and then walk to the nearest gas station and start asking people for rides. i've never felt to white trash. but we did it, and sure enough we found a ride with the cutest family who bought us dinner, and waited those two hours for suzy to bring us our things. they had us home in no time, without dumping us off in a random city with nothing but my satchel.
moral of the story? don't go to vegas with a person with the personality of a piranha.
great story for the grandkids though, right?
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