a birthday is just the first day of another 365 day journey around the sun, enjoy the trip

tomorow i will blog more about vegas, being ditched in a random city and forced to bum a ride off of strangers to get home (yes, that really happened), more of my birthday, this past week's events, and what this ginger is doing this weekend.

but today is my birthday. and no, not my 2oth birthday, or my 21st birthday, my 19th birthday.

it's about time! i know years from now...probably in two or three.. i'll be regretting the fact of always wanting to grow older. but isn't that just how it is? when you're young, you want to grow up as fast as you can. but, as you start to actually grow up and as you feel yourself begin to change into that grown up you always wanted to be, the adult that eventually you'll have to be....even if you don't want to be, the panic sets in. "forever young" begins to play over and over in my head, and i'm scratching to be that little girl again that could run to my parents bedroom whenever i had a nightmare. 

but mom and dad aren't here, and you're not in narnia anymore. 


you're on your own. you make your own decisions, you choose your own friends, you decide whether or not you want to go to church, whether or not school is your top priority, and if family will even be your top priority from now on.


i'll be honest, i didn't have a lot of great top priorities when i turned 18. none in fact. i was living in a fairy tail that made me oblivious to what was coming my way.


life. life came my way, and i wasn't ready.


this year is going to be different. i'm going to get closer to my family. you haven't seen nothin' yet. i'm going to be the best aunt, sister, daughter, cousin, niece, and granddaughter this world has ever seen. i'm going to finish school, and start planning for my life after cosmo. what college to attend, where to move, where to live. and lastly, i'm going to become closer to God. i've been unbelievable selfish, given the fact of how much he's blessed me with. he deserves my loyalty and gratitude. and i'm going to give it to him. i'm going to live by his example, and make my Heavenly Father proud.


with those three top priories, this year should be a breeze. probably not though. of course sometimes it'll be tough at times, and i'll most likely cry once or 50 times... but i'll be okay. it'll be worth it. i know i won't have anything flung my way that i cannot handle, and i know i will continue to be blessed as long as i continue to earn it.

so, 19. come at me.

8, 31, 1