church was great yesterday.
lilly and breck gave talks all about marriage, engagement, and what they wish they would've known before they had gotten engaged.
not only are they both some of the funniest cats around.. but they had some good points.
scott kept hitting my knee throughout the entire meeting, whispering "write that down!"
my iphone note pad is full of all kinds of advice now.
so! i'll share :)
#1 be happy NOW.
so many of us, especially during this time in our lives are delaying our happiness.
don't even act like none of you think; "once i graduate, i'll be happy." or "once i get married, i'll be happy." OR! "once i move there, or do this, or do that.. i'll be happy."
I TOTALLY DO!
sure, i'm happy with where i am now.
but secretly i'm thinking.. well once i do this or that i'll really be happy.
well, i'm an idiot and so are all of you.
go and read 2 Nephi, chapter 5.
Nephi teaches us all about living in a manner of happiness... and in no way did Nephi have a peachy life.
but as Nephi says, "we lived after the manner of happiness."
they chose to be happy. and they weren't tucked inside decent apartments going to an amazing university. they were running into the wilderness and building a new life.
who even knows if half of them were married, or graduated from wood cutting school, or doing whatever.
either way.. they were happy.
#2 the list.
if any of you were ever a mia maid you know exactly what i'm talking about.
once you hit the beautiful age of 14 your young womens teachers sit you down and have you create a list of attributes you want in your future husband.
then they have you keep it (which you know we all do because we're all wondering who the heck this SOB is going to be and if they'll really match our list of our ideal husband) and then compare it to whatever boy you find when you're wondering if he's the one.
they also have you make a list of things YOU want to be when you're looking for the one.
now my ward never did this, but tonight i might just write up a list... don't judge me.
i've blogged about this before; but before you can ever truly love someone else you must first love yourself.
this works for the expectations of what you want in your future spouse.
if you want someone who knows their scriptures, maybe you should get to know yours.
do you want a spouse who is temple worthy and actually attends the temple on a weekly basis? are you attending the temple on a weekly basis? are you even temple worthy?
i can promise you if you make yourself the kind of person you would want to marry, then you'll find the person you really can marry since you can't marry yourself like sue sylvester.
#3 while being single, take the time to work on YOU!
times are simple while you're single.
trust me. i know.
i've even noticed while i mini dated a few people here and there.
while yes, it's possible to still be awesome and date whoever you want.
but it's tough to stay on track! sometimes you lose focus.
suddenly you stop reading your scriptures as frequently, or praying every morning and night.. just because you flag yourself as being too busy.
but you're never too busy for these things.. and once you find "the one" you both should be able to make each other better people by doing these things together.
but until then.. take this time to make yourself a better you.
make yourself the best you can be without the influence of others while you can! you need a concrete foundation before you can ever begin to add on anything else.
#4 do not settle.
i know what you're all thinking.
"shut up! i know not to settle. we're only told that everyday of our lives."
but really. do not settle.
an easy way to quickly check whether you're settling or not is to ask yourself this;
is it what I want?
is it what THEY want?
and is it what HEAVENLY FATHER wants?
breck said he truly knew that lilly was the one when he asked Heavenly Father if she was and he knew that's what Heavenly Father wanted.
HELLO! it IS His plan..
#5 is it love, or lust?
too often affection can become the main focus of a relationship, so don't let it.
if you truly love someone you should want to know about their goals, needs, how they see the rest of their life, and all of their hopes and dreams!
not just what they're doing at 1:30 in the morning on a lonely night.
figure out if you have much in common before it's too late.
if you could care less about who the person really is, don't even bother.
a good test to see if your relationship will last without affection is to go two weeks without even touching each other.
if your relationship doesn't budge, you're golden.
but if it crumbles before your own eyes.. obviously it wasn't the real deal.
now you will fight, and in no way will it be perfect.
but whatever is suppose to happen will happen.
simply trust in the Lord, and he will never lead you astray..
done and done.
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