we chose to be happy

again, i love sunday.

school is stressful. i dont care what you think, beauty school is a hard. we don't just sit around all day inhaling hairspray and acetone, but we work. we study chemistry, electricity, even anatomy. i can name mostly every bone in the human head, and by the end of my schooling i will know every bone in the body. do you have any idea what your acid mantle is? what about your sebaceous glands? yeah, i didn't think so. at beauty school we gain an entire knowledge not just on how to paint nails, and give old ladies perms, but of the human body. i sometimes feel like i'm in the nursing program. but the most fulfilling part of school is the part where a girl, who's hair you've slaved over for hours, looks in the mirror and has an instant smile. you can almost feel her self esteem rise as she sits a little taller in your chair. that is the most fulfilling part of my nine hour days. but having nine hour days, five days a week, non-stop, gets to me. i haven't been this tired ever. i thought my drill team days were bad. waking up at 5:00 every morning, practicing before school, then going to school, having practice after school, then homework, and a few performances, and then doing it all over again. but everyday i wish i could have those days back. that was nothing. today i took a five hour nap, and it didn't help. probably because a five hour nap is more like a small hibernation.

but today is sunday. i take the saying "sunday is a day of rest" very literal now. without sunday, i would never get the chance to recharge my battery. i would be crawling to school with stanky breath and bags the size of air balloons under my eyes. but thankfully, sunday saves me every week. i forget about my worries, i catch up on my sleep, and my spirit get the best of me. i feel ready. ready to do it all over again. when we visited the mormon battalion in san diego, the people in the video reenactment inspired me. when the prophet was martyred, and the members of the church were forced to move, to deal with heart break, confusion, hard work, and struggles, they didn't complain. their only comment was... "we chose to be happy."  they chose. they weren't forced, they weren't talked into it. they CHOSE to be happy.

thats what i'm doing. choosing to be happy. i may be tired, and burned out at the end of every week. but life is too beautiful to let it pass without enjoying every minute of it. so i'm going to take it day by day, hope for the best, expect the best, and be the best i can be.

i want a blue sequin jumpsuit

a tool: that guy who makes us shake our head in disbelief but at the same time makes us feel better about ourselves since we are not him

here we are. kate and i. sitting in our apartment, waiting for the night to begin. and katelyn gets a text from, lets call him homo. and the text says this; "we should make out sometime in our lives."  this would be funny if homo wasn't a slut, and if we actually had hung out with him once or twice in our life times. homo is being as serious as it gets. he expects kate to hop on the invite like honey on bees. that exactly what we do on our saturday nights, wait to get invites to make out with people. and then we all have bulimic parties, and paint our nails!

you idiot. did you really think that was going to work? did guys really think that us women are here for their disposal? i think we all must of missed  the "boys own you" class when the umbilical cord was cut. i'm pretty sure i missed a lot of those boy classes. because, wait. i'm suppose to act dumb to get a guys attention? and if i want to catch anyone's eye i need to be showing a little something something? oh, and if i'm not a size two, flawless faced barbie i'm not worth your time? HAHA, please. i'll never act retarded to get you to like me. the ditz card, yeah. i dont have one. and it's better if i show more skin for you, then not enough? forget that. i rather feel comfortable in my own outfit, then worrying about pleasing you. the second any one of you girls start getting dressed for someone else, and not for you. stop. do what YOU want, for YOU. not anyone else. and don't poke my sides or hit my arm jiggle. uhm hello! i'm not 11 anymore. yeah, i have a pooch of a stomach, and my arms sag a little. i go to the gym, and i eat whatever the fetch i want. whoppide doo. i'm not fat, i'm healthy and i have periods once a month. deal with it. i'm scared for my daughters. a fourteen year old came over to the house today, and when we were talking about first kisses her story was this; "yeah... mine was a little late. like end of seventh grade." the jaws of every college girl in the room dropped. seventh grade is considered late for a first kiss now a days? what's late for sex? i'm eighteen years old, and still a virgin. and i'm proud. laugh it up. but yes, my v card is still intact. it's even laminated. i'm thinking about getting a plaque for it. girls, stop lowering your standards. and guys, stop expecting us to.

you'll never win

the love of a famliy is life's greatest blessing

alright, let's get this all out in the open. taylor. 

i honestly don't even feel like blogging about this. but i made a promise to blog everyday, and treat this blog like my own personal journal. and this has been bugging me since the first monday in december. i called my mom, and she told me that taylor had a seizure that morning. she told me the details, i talked to taylor, and i remember her saying "kendra, i passed away!" ...instead of "passed out". thankfully she still had her humor. we kept the news in the family loop, to save some grief for our family and friends. but then it happened again yesterday. and again, and again. and like i said, i really don't feel like blogging about this. it's all i've been thinking about since yesterday morning. whenever a text message popped up on my phone from one of my family members, my heart sank. waking up to texts made me think the worst. and getting the pictures sent to me of taylor being hooked up to all sorts of machines made me cry. she was suppose to be in utah right now, pulling all nighters with me and stephanie. not sitting in the hospital getting MRI's and EEG's. thankfully taylor is okay, and will be sent home from spokane tomorrow. to get the details, click on the link. 


http://stephaniekmoore.blogspot.com/2011/01/taylors-trip-not-to-utah-as-planned.html

i love you taylor. you mean the world to me, never forget that.

when mom and dad don't understand, a sister always will

i remember being in the sixth grade, and sneaking clothes in and out of my sisters bedroom when she was at drill practice in the early hours before school. i always wanted to sport her long sleeve light blue shirt from forever 21 that had, U♥ME arranged on it like an I♥NY shirt. and i'll admit i got away with it a few times. but the times she would catch me i remember getting into screaming battles about clothes, then turned into the bickering sister "i hate you!" matches. i always vowed to never do anything nice for my sisters ever again, because they were never nice to me when i needed them. but that was sixth grade. before break ups, and cheaters, periods, weddings, babies, and death. but now, seven years later... i couldnt imagine my life without them. i got this letter from my sister today and can i just say i'm beyond thankful to have stephanie so close. when my roommates dont cut it for comfort, especially when i'm sick, stephs there, ready to save the day. when i need a family fix, a girls day, or a prison break marathon, stephs the one. armed with stromboli and home made hot coco. i wish kellie and april were closer, but most of all i wish taylor was here. i was suppose to her tomorrow, but the plans fell through, and i won't be seeing that little bundle of joy until february. i miss you tay, love you most. and stephanie, thanks for all you do. especially for this little guy...

change the voices in your head, make them like you instead

sooooooooo, i've been obsessed with pink ever since stephanie had "glitter in the air" on a cd in her car. and after watching these two videos i must say i'm in love. she reminds me of lady gaga, but not as wild.. lady gaga once said that she forms all of her music, music videos, wardrobe, and performances around her fans. her goal is to create an environment where anyone can feel open, free, and accepted. where the kids who think they're outcasts because they're "different" can feel special. because in reality, they are. at school whenever i bash myself jen always looks at me and says, "stop talking about my friend kendra like that." and it never gets old. so to all you girls, outcasts, and freaks, remember... you're never given something you can't handle. you're someone, you're something, you're special. 

i want to move west to where the sun is shining, i want my friends to all be there

i'm baaaaaaaccckkkkk!

california was amazing. i wish the trip couldve lasted longer then a few days.
we left a wee bit late on saturday, around 5:30ish and blazed towards san diego. we stopped for gas in the ghetto ghetto of vegas. so instincts were to bring all of my valuables with me inside the gas station. which included my camera of course. so i ran inside the bathroom and past all the pedophiles, and put my camera on top of the toilet. i finished doing my bidnis, and there i am pulling my big girl panties up and i hear a "plop". and in about a millisecond, like lightening my hand is in my own urine, fishing out my camera from the toilet. then i panic. i start running around the bathroom, pants at my ankles tripping towards the paper towels so my camera doesnt melt in my own hands. i popped the battery out, and dried it off as fast as i could, pulled my pants up, and ran out to the car. once in the car still panicking, i'll admit, i started to cry. i felt like i had just drowned my own child in urine. i didnt want to freak katie out by crying over a camera so i just begged her to take me somewhere to get some rice. rice sucks the water out of ANYTHING, so i was hoping and praying to the camera Gods that it would save my little child. and plus, i needed to wash my hands, since they were still dripping from the toilet. mmm. urine hands, my favorite. we went to another gas station, i cleaned up, got some rice, stuck my camera in it and off we were. for those of you who dont really know me. my camera is practically glued to my hand. i take it everywhere. i even take it when i check the mail, just in case i see something worth capturing. i'm constantly thinking of cool ideas, or cool places to take pictures and use my handy dandy camera. and when the news came up about going to california, all i could think about was how many different amazing pictures i could take there. so to have my camera die halfway there, i wanted to jerk the steering wheel and kill myself.

we passed through a bug station as we came into california. (a bug station is like border patrol for fruit, since california will only allow certain fruits into their state) the old man who was clearing us through, asked the routine questions and then looked us each in the eye and said.. "any roses or peaches besides you two?" my cheeks instantly rose, and finally a smile bursted from in between my lips. my grief over my camera began to melt away, but i pouted until the palm trees started to pop up. i'm glad katie didnt get annoyed with me screaming "palm tree!" in a british accent every time my little eyes found one. we rolled down the windows and i could actually smell the salt water in the air. i was as giddy as a school girl and surprisingly my camera was in the back of my mind. i've been to california many many times, but never this south! i swear the further south you get, the prettier it gets. when we got out of the car to fill up again, the warm air brushed my cheeks and i instantly felt like a homo for wearing long sleeves and pants in this whether. katie was running around in short sleeves, gouches, and flip flops, and there i was covered from shoulder to fingertip, hip to toe.

after church on sunday, we couldnt resist but hit the beach. nothing had ever been so beautiful as the warm beach in january. i was getting hot in my cardigan and dress, and as the waves came crashing into the shore i was so angry at myself for drowning my camera i was more then tempted to sink myself into the pacific. thankfully katie let me barrow hers, but still. i was missing an arm. theres so many little boutiques all along the shore so we began to explore. my favorite store, "heavenly couture", had the cutest clothes ever. and get this, everything was $15 and under. YEAH. that's no typo... $15 AND UNDER.  they weren't dinky little clothes either, it was more of a fancy forever 21. i've been in a love affair with forever 21 for years, so you can imagine that  i was running around the store like a crack head at 3:00AM on black friday. and i successfully found the cutest floral tunic :)

we were starving, and katie knew of the cutest little italian restaurant right up the street. it was called "cio bella" and the servings were just as big as olive gardens, only ten times better and $10 cheaper. i waddled out, stomach full, and may or may not have left my number for our waiter, who was a vinny look a like. we ran around the beach the rest of the day, strolled up and down the streets of ocean beach, and got a butt load of vitamin d. we ended the day with a beach bonfire and my favorite, some frozen yogurt.

since every camera shop in san diego was closed on sunday, monday was the day to try to bring my camera back to life. i wasn't sure if it was just the battery that was ruined, maybe it short circuited once it got wet, or if my entire camera was done for. the rice hadn't of worked, and i knew if i was going to find a sony store anywhere that could help me, it would be in california. so i made it my top priority before we headed home. after a few phone calls we ended up as fashion valley, which is a glorified version of the gateway. like chinese tourists in seattle, i was gawking at every store. we got to the mall before it even opened, and i stalked the sony stores doors until they finally opened. an asain man came up to me first, and my first thought.. "score. an asain. he'll know exactly whats going on with my camera." and he did! the whole thing was ruined. and i almost started to cry again in the store (pathetic i know), so he went to go talk to his manager. he came back with good news, and bad news. i always hate when they do that in movies. someones wife, son, daughter, or dad is lying on his hospital bed, the doctor comes out to the family, and lets them know that there's good news, and bad news. total damper on the good news part. so i prepared myself. he told me i could send my camera in to the sony headquarters and they would fix it. it would take two weeks, and would cost about $115. i was confused about if that was the good news, or the bad news. but then he told me i could buy a two warranty right then and there, which was $50, and i would walk out of the store with a brand new camera. the whole. "good news bad news" mix up was then clear as day. i bought the warranty and did a happy leprechaun skip out of the store.

katie's boyfriend, gunner, then took us to the mormon battalion. coolest. place. ever. way back in the pilgrim days, after joseph smith was martyred and brigham young was in charge, the military was recruiting lds men from the ages of 18-48 to join the mexican-american war. they were ordered to make a 2,000 mile march from iowa to california, and to kill whatever came their way. they tell you the entire story in the mormon battalion, and how they do it is awesome. you start in a room, with picture frames of ten main people who were recruited and traveled to california. a missionary starts to tell you the story, and then bam! the picture frames are animated, and the people start introducing themselves in their own quirky way. then you travel room to room and theres screens on the walls of every room, and there again are the people, telling you their story. my favorite part was in the desert room. you sat on box like chairs, and as you're watching the film, a stampede of something starts coming towards the camps of the lds men, and they start yelling at their families (they actually got permission for their families to travel with them so they wouldnt be seperated and could settle in the west.) to get into their wagons, and you see the men getting their guns ready. then your seats start to vibrate and shake, like a disneyland ride, and you feel like you're actually there. i had to remind myself that i wasnt actually there, so i wouldnt try to run out of the room and not get trampled by animals. at the end of the tour, they have raw artifacts from the battalion. old book of mormons, journals, guns, jackets, and pins. the mormon battalion was the only battalion to reach california without ever actually battling the enemy. all through out their 2,000 mile trip they were never confronted once, and beside the long march and deaths from illness, the march was easier then they had all imagined. and worth it. once they reached san diego, they befriended the mexicans and they built a city together.

after that little flash back to 1846, we hit the open road back to utah. katie, i don't know if you read my blog or not, but word to the wise. don't you ever ask me to drive, and then critique my driving and tell me to speed up in a dark, icy, windy mountainous road again. i will punch you in the back of the head.

i already miss it. coming home so snow was bitter sweet, but i was eager to get back to provo and sleep in my own bed again. weird to think i refer to this place as home now. forgive me mum.

the waves of the sea help me get back to me

song of the day: "love today" - mika

i had the lovliest girl come in for a haircut today. she from laramie, wyoming (yes, robin. i instantly thought of you. and hey! i miss you..) she was majoring in acting at BYU, and had the cutest glasses. when she apologized for her $1 tip i almost wanted to cry with tears of flattery. a tip, is a tip. i'm not going to think you're the nastiest women in the land if you give me a one dollar tip, or not even a tip at all! even if the tip was 43 cents, (WHICH, i've gotten before) i'm flattered that the thought of tipping me crossed your mind in the first place. so thank you, you little button, for starting my day off wonderfully.

then we had a home made meal from the senior class for lunch, which was delicious! all of us pulled a fat kid and inhaled the pasta, bread, and cake. and class! class was awesome. we played a little jeopardy, and then bob the shear guy came in and taught us a few things about dem shears. there are so many different types! who would've thought. my next biggest investment for hair school with be rainbow shears with a swivel thumb! so amazing. oh, and jen... in all honestly. i promise you that i'm not mad at you at all for accidently cutting a tiny chunk of my hair. i'm sorry i turned my head! it was an honest mistake, so don't you dare think i'm mad at you. it's just hair! it'll grow back. and plus, kali has red hair.. if i really need more i'll just scalp her. ahhh. just kidding. i could never do that to that little angel..

after class i got to play secretary. call me what you want.. a nerd, dork, weirdo.. but i love playing secretary. and lets all be honest, without a secretary all business's would fail. who would make the calls, schedule the appointments, arrange the day, and make everyone else in the company happy? no one. the secretary is the frame to the building. i ended up staying late, not only because we got incredibly busy, but because i was actually loving every second of it. so props to all you secretary's! especially you, whitney... my dad is something else, and i'm just glad you can keep him in check. props, props.. :)

before i forget, let me tell you all greatest news i got today... katie evens is going to california this weekend and needs a car buddy.... and who is this car buddy going to be... kendra lynn moberg. when i texted my dad proposing this idea, his response quote for quote was, "you're an adult. sounds like you have your school hours worked out. sounds like fun. put on your big girl panties and decide." sooo san diego, ready or not here i come. big girl panties and all.

thank you mom and dad. you're the grestest. love you most..