we chose to be happy

again, i love sunday.

school is stressful. i dont care what you think, beauty school is a hard. we don't just sit around all day inhaling hairspray and acetone, but we work. we study chemistry, electricity, even anatomy. i can name mostly every bone in the human head, and by the end of my schooling i will know every bone in the body. do you have any idea what your acid mantle is? what about your sebaceous glands? yeah, i didn't think so. at beauty school we gain an entire knowledge not just on how to paint nails, and give old ladies perms, but of the human body. i sometimes feel like i'm in the nursing program. but the most fulfilling part of school is the part where a girl, who's hair you've slaved over for hours, looks in the mirror and has an instant smile. you can almost feel her self esteem rise as she sits a little taller in your chair. that is the most fulfilling part of my nine hour days. but having nine hour days, five days a week, non-stop, gets to me. i haven't been this tired ever. i thought my drill team days were bad. waking up at 5:00 every morning, practicing before school, then going to school, having practice after school, then homework, and a few performances, and then doing it all over again. but everyday i wish i could have those days back. that was nothing. today i took a five hour nap, and it didn't help. probably because a five hour nap is more like a small hibernation.

but today is sunday. i take the saying "sunday is a day of rest" very literal now. without sunday, i would never get the chance to recharge my battery. i would be crawling to school with stanky breath and bags the size of air balloons under my eyes. but thankfully, sunday saves me every week. i forget about my worries, i catch up on my sleep, and my spirit get the best of me. i feel ready. ready to do it all over again. when we visited the mormon battalion in san diego, the people in the video reenactment inspired me. when the prophet was martyred, and the members of the church were forced to move, to deal with heart break, confusion, hard work, and struggles, they didn't complain. their only comment was... "we chose to be happy."  they chose. they weren't forced, they weren't talked into it. they CHOSE to be happy.

thats what i'm doing. choosing to be happy. i may be tired, and burned out at the end of every week. but life is too beautiful to let it pass without enjoying every minute of it. so i'm going to take it day by day, hope for the best, expect the best, and be the best i can be.

i want a blue sequin jumpsuit

a tool: that guy who makes us shake our head in disbelief but at the same time makes us feel better about ourselves since we are not him

here we are. kate and i. sitting in our apartment, waiting for the night to begin. and katelyn gets a text from, lets call him homo. and the text says this; "we should make out sometime in our lives."  this would be funny if homo wasn't a slut, and if we actually had hung out with him once or twice in our life times. homo is being as serious as it gets. he expects kate to hop on the invite like honey on bees. that exactly what we do on our saturday nights, wait to get invites to make out with people. and then we all have bulimic parties, and paint our nails!

you idiot. did you really think that was going to work? did guys really think that us women are here for their disposal? i think we all must of missed  the "boys own you" class when the umbilical cord was cut. i'm pretty sure i missed a lot of those boy classes. because, wait. i'm suppose to act dumb to get a guys attention? and if i want to catch anyone's eye i need to be showing a little something something? oh, and if i'm not a size two, flawless faced barbie i'm not worth your time? HAHA, please. i'll never act retarded to get you to like me. the ditz card, yeah. i dont have one. and it's better if i show more skin for you, then not enough? forget that. i rather feel comfortable in my own outfit, then worrying about pleasing you. the second any one of you girls start getting dressed for someone else, and not for you. stop. do what YOU want, for YOU. not anyone else. and don't poke my sides or hit my arm jiggle. uhm hello! i'm not 11 anymore. yeah, i have a pooch of a stomach, and my arms sag a little. i go to the gym, and i eat whatever the fetch i want. whoppide doo. i'm not fat, i'm healthy and i have periods once a month. deal with it. i'm scared for my daughters. a fourteen year old came over to the house today, and when we were talking about first kisses her story was this; "yeah... mine was a little late. like end of seventh grade." the jaws of every college girl in the room dropped. seventh grade is considered late for a first kiss now a days? what's late for sex? i'm eighteen years old, and still a virgin. and i'm proud. laugh it up. but yes, my v card is still intact. it's even laminated. i'm thinking about getting a plaque for it. girls, stop lowering your standards. and guys, stop expecting us to.

you'll never win

the love of a famliy is life's greatest blessing

alright, let's get this all out in the open. taylor. 

i honestly don't even feel like blogging about this. but i made a promise to blog everyday, and treat this blog like my own personal journal. and this has been bugging me since the first monday in december. i called my mom, and she told me that taylor had a seizure that morning. she told me the details, i talked to taylor, and i remember her saying "kendra, i passed away!" ...instead of "passed out". thankfully she still had her humor. we kept the news in the family loop, to save some grief for our family and friends. but then it happened again yesterday. and again, and again. and like i said, i really don't feel like blogging about this. it's all i've been thinking about since yesterday morning. whenever a text message popped up on my phone from one of my family members, my heart sank. waking up to texts made me think the worst. and getting the pictures sent to me of taylor being hooked up to all sorts of machines made me cry. she was suppose to be in utah right now, pulling all nighters with me and stephanie. not sitting in the hospital getting MRI's and EEG's. thankfully taylor is okay, and will be sent home from spokane tomorrow. to get the details, click on the link. 


http://stephaniekmoore.blogspot.com/2011/01/taylors-trip-not-to-utah-as-planned.html

i love you taylor. you mean the world to me, never forget that.

when mom and dad don't understand, a sister always will

i remember being in the sixth grade, and sneaking clothes in and out of my sisters bedroom when she was at drill practice in the early hours before school. i always wanted to sport her long sleeve light blue shirt from forever 21 that had, U♥ME arranged on it like an I♥NY shirt. and i'll admit i got away with it a few times. but the times she would catch me i remember getting into screaming battles about clothes, then turned into the bickering sister "i hate you!" matches. i always vowed to never do anything nice for my sisters ever again, because they were never nice to me when i needed them. but that was sixth grade. before break ups, and cheaters, periods, weddings, babies, and death. but now, seven years later... i couldnt imagine my life without them. i got this letter from my sister today and can i just say i'm beyond thankful to have stephanie so close. when my roommates dont cut it for comfort, especially when i'm sick, stephs there, ready to save the day. when i need a family fix, a girls day, or a prison break marathon, stephs the one. armed with stromboli and home made hot coco. i wish kellie and april were closer, but most of all i wish taylor was here. i was suppose to her tomorrow, but the plans fell through, and i won't be seeing that little bundle of joy until february. i miss you tay, love you most. and stephanie, thanks for all you do. especially for this little guy...

change the voices in your head, make them like you instead

sooooooooo, i've been obsessed with pink ever since stephanie had "glitter in the air" on a cd in her car. and after watching these two videos i must say i'm in love. she reminds me of lady gaga, but not as wild.. lady gaga once said that she forms all of her music, music videos, wardrobe, and performances around her fans. her goal is to create an environment where anyone can feel open, free, and accepted. where the kids who think they're outcasts because they're "different" can feel special. because in reality, they are. at school whenever i bash myself jen always looks at me and says, "stop talking about my friend kendra like that." and it never gets old. so to all you girls, outcasts, and freaks, remember... you're never given something you can't handle. you're someone, you're something, you're special. 

i want to move west to where the sun is shining, i want my friends to all be there

i'm baaaaaaaccckkkkk!

california was amazing. i wish the trip couldve lasted longer then a few days.
we left a wee bit late on saturday, around 5:30ish and blazed towards san diego. we stopped for gas in the ghetto ghetto of vegas. so instincts were to bring all of my valuables with me inside the gas station. which included my camera of course. so i ran inside the bathroom and past all the pedophiles, and put my camera on top of the toilet. i finished doing my bidnis, and there i am pulling my big girl panties up and i hear a "plop". and in about a millisecond, like lightening my hand is in my own urine, fishing out my camera from the toilet. then i panic. i start running around the bathroom, pants at my ankles tripping towards the paper towels so my camera doesnt melt in my own hands. i popped the battery out, and dried it off as fast as i could, pulled my pants up, and ran out to the car. once in the car still panicking, i'll admit, i started to cry. i felt like i had just drowned my own child in urine. i didnt want to freak katie out by crying over a camera so i just begged her to take me somewhere to get some rice. rice sucks the water out of ANYTHING, so i was hoping and praying to the camera Gods that it would save my little child. and plus, i needed to wash my hands, since they were still dripping from the toilet. mmm. urine hands, my favorite. we went to another gas station, i cleaned up, got some rice, stuck my camera in it and off we were. for those of you who dont really know me. my camera is practically glued to my hand. i take it everywhere. i even take it when i check the mail, just in case i see something worth capturing. i'm constantly thinking of cool ideas, or cool places to take pictures and use my handy dandy camera. and when the news came up about going to california, all i could think about was how many different amazing pictures i could take there. so to have my camera die halfway there, i wanted to jerk the steering wheel and kill myself.

we passed through a bug station as we came into california. (a bug station is like border patrol for fruit, since california will only allow certain fruits into their state) the old man who was clearing us through, asked the routine questions and then looked us each in the eye and said.. "any roses or peaches besides you two?" my cheeks instantly rose, and finally a smile bursted from in between my lips. my grief over my camera began to melt away, but i pouted until the palm trees started to pop up. i'm glad katie didnt get annoyed with me screaming "palm tree!" in a british accent every time my little eyes found one. we rolled down the windows and i could actually smell the salt water in the air. i was as giddy as a school girl and surprisingly my camera was in the back of my mind. i've been to california many many times, but never this south! i swear the further south you get, the prettier it gets. when we got out of the car to fill up again, the warm air brushed my cheeks and i instantly felt like a homo for wearing long sleeves and pants in this whether. katie was running around in short sleeves, gouches, and flip flops, and there i was covered from shoulder to fingertip, hip to toe.

after church on sunday, we couldnt resist but hit the beach. nothing had ever been so beautiful as the warm beach in january. i was getting hot in my cardigan and dress, and as the waves came crashing into the shore i was so angry at myself for drowning my camera i was more then tempted to sink myself into the pacific. thankfully katie let me barrow hers, but still. i was missing an arm. theres so many little boutiques all along the shore so we began to explore. my favorite store, "heavenly couture", had the cutest clothes ever. and get this, everything was $15 and under. YEAH. that's no typo... $15 AND UNDER.  they weren't dinky little clothes either, it was more of a fancy forever 21. i've been in a love affair with forever 21 for years, so you can imagine that  i was running around the store like a crack head at 3:00AM on black friday. and i successfully found the cutest floral tunic :)

we were starving, and katie knew of the cutest little italian restaurant right up the street. it was called "cio bella" and the servings were just as big as olive gardens, only ten times better and $10 cheaper. i waddled out, stomach full, and may or may not have left my number for our waiter, who was a vinny look a like. we ran around the beach the rest of the day, strolled up and down the streets of ocean beach, and got a butt load of vitamin d. we ended the day with a beach bonfire and my favorite, some frozen yogurt.

since every camera shop in san diego was closed on sunday, monday was the day to try to bring my camera back to life. i wasn't sure if it was just the battery that was ruined, maybe it short circuited once it got wet, or if my entire camera was done for. the rice hadn't of worked, and i knew if i was going to find a sony store anywhere that could help me, it would be in california. so i made it my top priority before we headed home. after a few phone calls we ended up as fashion valley, which is a glorified version of the gateway. like chinese tourists in seattle, i was gawking at every store. we got to the mall before it even opened, and i stalked the sony stores doors until they finally opened. an asain man came up to me first, and my first thought.. "score. an asain. he'll know exactly whats going on with my camera." and he did! the whole thing was ruined. and i almost started to cry again in the store (pathetic i know), so he went to go talk to his manager. he came back with good news, and bad news. i always hate when they do that in movies. someones wife, son, daughter, or dad is lying on his hospital bed, the doctor comes out to the family, and lets them know that there's good news, and bad news. total damper on the good news part. so i prepared myself. he told me i could send my camera in to the sony headquarters and they would fix it. it would take two weeks, and would cost about $115. i was confused about if that was the good news, or the bad news. but then he told me i could buy a two warranty right then and there, which was $50, and i would walk out of the store with a brand new camera. the whole. "good news bad news" mix up was then clear as day. i bought the warranty and did a happy leprechaun skip out of the store.

katie's boyfriend, gunner, then took us to the mormon battalion. coolest. place. ever. way back in the pilgrim days, after joseph smith was martyred and brigham young was in charge, the military was recruiting lds men from the ages of 18-48 to join the mexican-american war. they were ordered to make a 2,000 mile march from iowa to california, and to kill whatever came their way. they tell you the entire story in the mormon battalion, and how they do it is awesome. you start in a room, with picture frames of ten main people who were recruited and traveled to california. a missionary starts to tell you the story, and then bam! the picture frames are animated, and the people start introducing themselves in their own quirky way. then you travel room to room and theres screens on the walls of every room, and there again are the people, telling you their story. my favorite part was in the desert room. you sat on box like chairs, and as you're watching the film, a stampede of something starts coming towards the camps of the lds men, and they start yelling at their families (they actually got permission for their families to travel with them so they wouldnt be seperated and could settle in the west.) to get into their wagons, and you see the men getting their guns ready. then your seats start to vibrate and shake, like a disneyland ride, and you feel like you're actually there. i had to remind myself that i wasnt actually there, so i wouldnt try to run out of the room and not get trampled by animals. at the end of the tour, they have raw artifacts from the battalion. old book of mormons, journals, guns, jackets, and pins. the mormon battalion was the only battalion to reach california without ever actually battling the enemy. all through out their 2,000 mile trip they were never confronted once, and beside the long march and deaths from illness, the march was easier then they had all imagined. and worth it. once they reached san diego, they befriended the mexicans and they built a city together.

after that little flash back to 1846, we hit the open road back to utah. katie, i don't know if you read my blog or not, but word to the wise. don't you ever ask me to drive, and then critique my driving and tell me to speed up in a dark, icy, windy mountainous road again. i will punch you in the back of the head.

i already miss it. coming home so snow was bitter sweet, but i was eager to get back to provo and sleep in my own bed again. weird to think i refer to this place as home now. forgive me mum.

the waves of the sea help me get back to me

song of the day: "love today" - mika

i had the lovliest girl come in for a haircut today. she from laramie, wyoming (yes, robin. i instantly thought of you. and hey! i miss you..) she was majoring in acting at BYU, and had the cutest glasses. when she apologized for her $1 tip i almost wanted to cry with tears of flattery. a tip, is a tip. i'm not going to think you're the nastiest women in the land if you give me a one dollar tip, or not even a tip at all! even if the tip was 43 cents, (WHICH, i've gotten before) i'm flattered that the thought of tipping me crossed your mind in the first place. so thank you, you little button, for starting my day off wonderfully.

then we had a home made meal from the senior class for lunch, which was delicious! all of us pulled a fat kid and inhaled the pasta, bread, and cake. and class! class was awesome. we played a little jeopardy, and then bob the shear guy came in and taught us a few things about dem shears. there are so many different types! who would've thought. my next biggest investment for hair school with be rainbow shears with a swivel thumb! so amazing. oh, and jen... in all honestly. i promise you that i'm not mad at you at all for accidently cutting a tiny chunk of my hair. i'm sorry i turned my head! it was an honest mistake, so don't you dare think i'm mad at you. it's just hair! it'll grow back. and plus, kali has red hair.. if i really need more i'll just scalp her. ahhh. just kidding. i could never do that to that little angel..

after class i got to play secretary. call me what you want.. a nerd, dork, weirdo.. but i love playing secretary. and lets all be honest, without a secretary all business's would fail. who would make the calls, schedule the appointments, arrange the day, and make everyone else in the company happy? no one. the secretary is the frame to the building. i ended up staying late, not only because we got incredibly busy, but because i was actually loving every second of it. so props to all you secretary's! especially you, whitney... my dad is something else, and i'm just glad you can keep him in check. props, props.. :)

before i forget, let me tell you all greatest news i got today... katie evens is going to california this weekend and needs a car buddy.... and who is this car buddy going to be... kendra lynn moberg. when i texted my dad proposing this idea, his response quote for quote was, "you're an adult. sounds like you have your school hours worked out. sounds like fun. put on your big girl panties and decide." sooo san diego, ready or not here i come. big girl panties and all.

thank you mom and dad. you're the grestest. love you most..

once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible

this is so amazing, i cannot help but blog about it. 

i get chills every time i read this article.

i wish i could witness miracles as profound as this one every day...

 

A picture began circulating in November. It should be "The Picture of
the Year,"... or perhaps, "Picture of the Decade." It won't be. In fact,
unless you obtained a copy of the U.S. paper which published it, you
probably would never have seen it.

The picture is that of a 21-week-old unborn baby named Samuel Alexander Armas, who is being operated on by surgeon named Joseph Bruner. The baby was diagnosed with
spina bifida and would not survive if removed from his mother's womb.
Little Samuel's mother, Julie Armas, is an obstetrics nurse in Atlanta.
She knew of Dr. Bruner's remarkable surgical procedure. Practicing at
Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, he performs these
special operations while the baby is still in the womb.

During the procedure, the doctor removes the uterus via C-section and makes a
small incision to operate on the baby. As Dr. Bruner completed the
surgery on Samuel, the little guy reached his tiny, but fully developed
hand through the incision and firmly grasped the surgeon's finger. Dr.
Bruner was reported as saying that when his finger was grasped, it was
the most emotional moment of his life, and that for an instant during
the procedure he was just frozen, totally immobile.

The photograph captures this amazing event with perfect clarity. The editors
titled the picture, "Hand of Hope." The text explaining the picture
begins, "The tiny hand of 21-week-old fetus Samuel Alexander Armas
emerges from the mother's uterus to grasp the finger of Dr. Joseph
Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life."

Little Samuel's mother said they "wept for days" when they saw the picture. She
said, "The photo reminds us pregnancy isn't about disability or an
illness, it's about a little person" Samuel was born in perfect health,
the operation 100 percent successful.

everything starts out as somebody's daydream

today i realized i'm too much of a dreamer. 

for hours i sat at school whipping up fairy tales in my head. thinking about all the other places i would rather be, and all the things i would rather be doing.

like, new york. i've never been, but oh. how badly i want to go. nothing is more appealing than "the city that never sleeps". i want to be in the core of a city full of life and mess traveling only by taxi and the underground subway system. i want to walk around times square when it's illuminated with nothing but flashing billboards, giant over sized televisions, camera flashes, street lamps, and stop lights. i want to climb to the top of the statue of liberty, and i want little chinese men to drive me in back alleys in unidentified vans, leading me to underground shops filled with stolen designer purses. but most of all, i want to see a live taping of SNL.

or australia. i want to visit the land down under without a single obligation or care in the world. to spend days, week, or months traveling the oz. i want to see the sydney opera house, pet a kangaroo, and find myself an aussie with tan skin and an accent to kill for. i want to peddle a bike on the boardwalk, be ankle deep in hot sand with salt water dripping from every strand of my hair, and run around in nothing but my swimsuit and sandals.

paris. can you imagine those pictures? the shopping.. the vespas.. the desserts. my biggest and simplest craving is to ride a double decker bus and have the spice girls blast through my headphones. i want to stand at the top of the eiffiel tower and look over the entire city, even get a few gondola rides in with a handsome french men. i want to walk on the brick roads drinking fancy drinks and eating coffee cake, wearing a toque, searching for cool rings and bracelets.

and this is just the beginning... how could i ever resist a elephant ride in thailand? or a cruise to the caribbian? a date with a few dolphins in hawaii... even a service trip to africa. or a simple trip to disney world.

alone, or not...im going to travel the world.

today is going to be great

shrinking

sunday night was great.
we played intense card games at deerays, with blood stains on the coffee table.
then, thanks to james, we watched "meet joe black"
a girl falls in love with death. yeah, yeah, that sounds satanic.
you would just need to watch it.
like right now.. get yourself a cuddle buddy and do it.

monday was even better.
hit the gym with kate. i'm more sore then ever.
but i'll be going in the morning (hopefully)
then! ate the best sandwhich ever.
let me elaborate.
just make yourself a regular joe sandwich, and then GEORGE FOREMAN THAT BAD BOY!
it's the best little panini.
after i inhaled my panini, i watched a documentary on katy perry.
did you know that she got her GED when she was 15 (maybe 14), went to nashville and recorded a gospel record. which only sold 200 copies, and then her record company went bankrupt.
she then was picked up by some guy in LA, who pushed and pushed her which led her to two record labels, who signed her, and then dropped her.
then she was signed with capitol music after being featured in the "cupids chokehold" video by gym class heros.
and thats just the beginning. talk about an earful in 30 minutes.
i love katy.
then i got ready, and destroyed everybody in the game of catch phrase.

now, tuesday.
the first hour of today was great. and then it sucked for about 30 minutes.
then it was great again for another 9 hours.
and then it took a turn for the worst.

sleep, please take my troubles with you.

the night is darkest before the dawn

before we start this, i honestly have NO idea what's up with my dreams lately. i'm not pregnant... and i'm not a gypsy, but i'm a dreamer. and i've been having the wildest dreams.

i didnt know if i wanted to cry out of fear or joy when i woke up this morning. but what i dreamt about last night was something else.

i was in salt lake, working in a research center at the top of mountains.
for some reason the eiffel tower was big enough and bright enough to see from salt lake and the whole city was in awe. and i, kendra moberg, was researching why a 1,063 foot tower, 5078.3 miles away was clearly visible from the mid western part of the united states.
ashton kutcher and jack black were with me (hey, its a dream! i can dream about ashton and jack all i want) helping me research. and they weren't even cracking jokes. whatever we were doing, it was serious and the eiffel tower was a key piece to it.
i had been at the research center for hours and wanted to get away to think.
i started to walk down the mountain, into the little neighborhoods of the rich and blessed that were stacked up into the nooks and crannies of the hills.
as i walked down the hill, i started to get scared.
and then i got scared and lost.
i wanted to go back to the research center, and i wanted to go back now.
it felt like something or someone dark was following me, trying to kill me before i did something that would ruin it's dark self forever.
so i ran into a small law firm that was tucked away into the neighborhood of my obsolete path i was so lost in.
a man was locking up and i asked him to take my scared self back.
being the gentleman he was, he agreed. 
we were walking out when an old man (i believe it was the mans father) came out from the screen door of the garage and handed me a gun, for protection.
whatever was coming, he obviously thought i needed protection. he seemed trust worthy, so i took the gun.
the man that was escorting me back then had a knife, for his protection as well.
we then began to walk up the hill, and there was stephanie, kellie, mama, and taylor.
i honestly dont know if it really was taylor, if she was standing there in flesh and blood with us, or if it was taylors spirit watching over us. but whichever one it was, she was there, smiling as usual.
stephanie grabbed my gun from me and disposed of the nine mm.
my mom then pointed to the city and told me to look, since my back had been turned to the city the whole time i made my trek back up the mountain.
kellie had binoculars and was gawking at what then filled my eyes.
the entire city was glowing and a smog had rolled over the town. it wasn't just city lights that illuminated those streets, and the smog wasn't weather casted fog. it was something else.
kellie kept telling me to look, tugging at my shoulder. stephanie was calm, giving a satisfying smile every couple minutes. and then my mom pointed to the temple, and told us all to look.
i looked, and it was glowing. not glowing like the rest of the city, but as if a fire was inside of it. it wasnt a FIRE, with burning wood frames, and melting chairs, but something else.
some kind of power from high.
i looked over the city closer and noticed that the tabernacles and conference centers were all glowing with the fire-ish power that had spotlighted every sacred part of salt lake.
smoke began to roll in the streets, and the climaxing panic coming from the city began to fill my lungs.
then comets shot across the sky, and as they were directly over the city they exploded.
suddenly there was a table next to me and i jumped underneath it to protect myself from the falling debris.
the bits from the exploding comets fell from the sky and hit the earth.
a small stone hit my hand and i winced in pain. then i heard my sisters and mother screaming from the pain from the stones hitting them.
so i got out from under the table, grabbed the hands of my family and we began to run up the hill.
we were then in a building. some kind of underground subway kind of thing.
it was crawling with people running in panic.
we were all running to something, whatever it was. we all wanted to be there.
but i stopped and began to cry.
i was scared.
the world as i knew it was coming to an end. this was it.
my mom stopped with me, grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me in the eyes with a concerned loving face and said, "it's going to be fine."

and then i woke up. i got ready for church, and the opening hymn was this;

"o Lord my God,
when i in awesome wonder,
consider all the worlds thy hands have made,
i see the stars,
i hear the rolling thunder,
the power throughout the universe displayed

then sings my soul,
my Savior God to thee,
how great thou art!
how great thou art!
then sings my soul,
my Savior God to thee,
how great thou art!
how great thou art!

when through the woods,
and forest glades i wander,
and hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees,
when i look down,
from lofty mountain grandeur,
and hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze.

...when Christ shall come,
with shout of acclamation,
and take me home,
what joy shall fill my heart!
then i shall bow in humble adoration,
and there proclaim,
"My God, how great though art.""

after a hurricane comes a rainbow

after being sick all week i finally started to feel better friday night. haaallelujah (singing choir) 

me and kate went to the dollar theater to watch "life as we know it". it literally made me laugh and cry. such a great movie. remember stephanie, if you and kritt die, i have dibs on mason. when we got back home aubs came over and invited me and kate to go ice skating with her and about thirteen boys. so of course we pulled a mrs.incredible and got ready in super speed, and off we went. i made a new friend! snaps for kendra. his name is tyler. we rode with him to the ice skating rink, and a couple minutes after we got into his car the country music started to play. and no, he didnt turn it to a different station real quick, or make a joke of it. he was proud! and he wasn't even wearing cowboy boots or driving a jacked up truck. he has a man card. can i just say right now, i liked that. i liked that a lot. here's a tip for all you guys. all girls like country music. i dont care if they're the thug nastiest girl you've ever met. she still has a certain country song she'll scream at the top of her lungs when someones done her wrong, or when she's fallen in love. if a girl tells you she doesnt like country music, she's lying. she just wants to try impress you by being "too cool" for that country swag. no women can resist keith urban. and no women can resist a guy who likes country music. you don't have to be a hick, just dont be ashmed to admit that you like it. oh and i know you like it. carrie underwood? she's a babe!

anyways, i went ice skating! and i can't ice skate... but i was feeling dangerous so i grabbed a pair of skates and hit the ice. and then i clung onto katelyn like a scared little orphan. thanks for dragging me around the rink roomie. and thanks to tyler for flinging me around those corners! i didnt even fall, and we were going fast!

we drank some hot coco, and headed back to ghetto raintree. and then it was MARGARITA TIME!! it may or may not have been virgin margaritas, but you can think what you want. i havent had one since my dad mixed some up for me and my mom when we were in vegas my junior year. so it was long overdue.. we got our drink on and played dance central on xbox kinect. i challenged the roomie and lets just say my robot skills are unstoppable. oh. and i made stromboli! it was a success. mama would be proud. 

friday night was a good, good night.

saturday was just as successful. and i think it was what really cured me. because i held down every meal i ate that day! impressed?

kate finally convinced me to go to the gym with her and i loved every minute of it. i'm so sore, and it's awesome! she was my personal trainer the whole two hours we were there. i want a gym pass more then anything now. we had a ward party that night and i danced my little bum off. me and richard were the head couple and we annihilated everyone. i had no idea what we were doing half the time, but we dominated. the night wasnt over yet though. it was disco night at the roller rink. and before i get into that, james. you're the best! thank you so much for paying for my broke self. but yes. disco night! we put on the blush and the bright colored tops and we went. oh, just a little tid bit. i can't roller blade either. i really wish i would've learned this types of things when i was younger. talked about jipped. so again, i clung onto kate like a little orphan and she dragged me around. chelsey gave me some lessons, and i think i kind of got the rhythm of it. but the night grew old and what was done, was done. we crawled back into chelseys cooper, which is adorable! and went home. i passed out on my bed more tired and sore then i've ever been in all my eighteen years.

i wish i had my camera for all of this! but this little ginger left it at the family walk in clinic. i feel like i'm missing a limb. but the good news is, i'm healthy and oh so happy.

all i can do is keep breathing

ingrid makes me feel better

sejr/voitto/sieg/bua/(VICTORY)

my new best friend's are all the dime size pepto-bismol peppermint meltaways in the white plastic bottle at my disposal. their my nausea's enemy and i love it.


i held down my first meal today! are you proud? my sister made one of my favorites for dinner.

scratch that. me and the toliet just became friends again, and the feeling isn't mutual. sorry you had to hear that kate...

i refuse to miss school tomorrow. please, oh please go away in the morning. i have things to attend to.

....and i made muffins that i've been craving for breakfast...

lipstick jungle

i just finished my 20th episode, may i remind you that i am bed ridden, and i just now find out that it got canceled!? why doesnt america like the shows i like? first prison break, now mascara island.

at least modern family and greys anatomy will never leave me.

the greatest wealth is health

i am bed ridden.

how to pregnant women do this? it's awful. i've been watching hulu for the past day and a half, but today i'm feeling a little dangerous and now i'm watching hulu AND blogging at the same time. i might be a little daring soon and attempt a trip to the kitchen to get a cup of ice. hopefully i just dont make any sudden rushes to the bathroom... do any of you watch "lipstick jungle"? it's a spin off of desperate housewives and sex in the city... and i love it. plus, it's the only series on hulu i havent already seen. twice. or three times. oh! i have a success story. my hunger got the best of me yesterday, and i was feeling a tad better... so i decided i would try to make pulled pork again. AND IT WAS A SUCCESS! tasted just like my mums. i dominated it. and then it dominated me. so here i am. bed ridden. i would like to send a shout out to my marinello loves. to aubs, mama jen, ann, and financial jen, thanks for the voice mails and texts. hearing you all finally hop on the bandwagon and call me "keng" made me feel a bit better. oh, and a text from a love that i've been thinking about for weeks literally made my tuesday.

so before my body decided to wring my stomach out and pulverize my throat, monday night was COUSIN DATE NIGHT!! after FHE, me and aubs hit the town. i think i got sick from eating pizza for a whole two days (sunday and monday), but we went to pizza pie cafe! for you washington people, pizza pie cafe is literally a buffet of straight pizza. and any kind of pizza you can imagine. from pepperoni, to buffalo wing pizza, and potato spud pizza, and chicken alfreado pizza. and then their dessert pizzas! yeah, they have cinnamon sticks. but then they have oreo pizza, and apple pie pizza, and all kind of delicious dessert pizzas. i'm starting to crave it as we speak. me and aubs waddled back to the car with full stomachs, and then... i burned my sub zero chastity belt. again, for you washington people. sub zero is like baskin robbins and build a bear combined. they put the basic ingredients for ice cream in a bowl, (i would feel a lot smarter if i knew what those were) and then you tell them what flavor of ice cream you want; vanilla, cake batter, chocolate, caramel, or whatevaa. then you can pick whatever you want to be mixed into the little ice cream potion. like strawberries, twix bar chunks, gum, cookie dough, bananas, cheesecake bits, or again.. whaaaatteevvaaaa you want! so they have all of this in a mixing bowl and then they walk over to this gas blaster thing that blows magic and love into the bowl and transforms it into, BAM! ice cream. its different. and you would have to be "in the mood" to enjoy it. but its good. however being the addict that i am, i would still choose frozen yogurt over it anyday...

i got my first spank from sub zero, and then we payed the theater a visit. "how do you know", is thee cutest movie. it's a root for the underdog, even when the man who you think is the man of the dreams is throwing himself at you. it made me miss old relationships, and made me hopeful for new ones. i would give it three and a half stars out of five. but still, a must see. plus, who doesn't love reese witherspoon?

it's 12:50, and i still have to wrap up my date with hulu. hope everyone is enjoying their hump day.

lets get rich

dear sunday, i love you

soooooooo... i missed a day of blogging. i hate myself! but saturday was a good busy day.

my dad went back to moses lake. but before he left we made a quick starbucks run and he took me off to school. two more weeks and taylor will be here! i cant wait.

school was good. we have the best deal right now. $20 for a manicure, pedicure, facial, and a hair style. usually a pedicure by itself is $20, so YEAH, great deal. two sisters came in with their mother to take advantage of this killer deal and they were the most creative trio i've ever met. you could feel the love just be hearing them all talk to eachother as they each got pampered. reminded me of my mom and all us girls when we get together. its wild. before you know it the phrase "grow a pair" is the the resolution for everything, and we all have matching nail polish.

after school, this little ginger had a date! i went out with kritt's cousin, blake. this kid has the driest sense of humor so literally anything he says is funny. i havent been on a date in a very long time, so not going to lie... i was kind of nervous. but i can honestly say it was one the funnest dates i've ever been on. we went to salt lake and ate at the taiphoon in the gateway. they have the best orange chicken ever! then we went to a comedy show in downtown salt lake. a little theater with big red comfy seats. so old fashion. there were four comics, and they all worked with each other so well. my favorite one was the olderish man. he made me shed a tear or two, and was a total babe. when we left the theater salt lake was covered in snow. and not like cute little flakes, and barely frosted trees. i'm taking snow flakes the size of quarters, and it was sticking. it was beautiful. i wished i couldve stayed there all night and watch it fall. but i probably wouldve lost every single one of my toes. my new rule for first dates: there is zero picture taking, unless theres a celeb appearance.

saturday was a success. i went to bed and actually had dreams about aveda being mad at me for not transferring. suckers...

can i just tell everyone how much i love sunday. its my favorite day of the week. in relief society today my dear friend chelsey said how sunday is the day for us to recharge our battery. it builds us up, and gives us another chance to take on another week. it's only the second week in january and i feel like its mid june. school, work, and our social lives can drain and defeat us throughout the week, but on sunday its a fresh start. a day of rest. and hello, ward dessert night. we played fruit ninja on james's ipad all night. hearing all the guys scream in chinese accents killed me. except for trent, busting out his random indian accent. so NOT chinese, but still, so funny.

i dont have school tomorrow, (score) so i'm taking advantage of my bed tonight and sleeping as much as i can. i'm having an affair with my down comforter, sorry bree. it just hugs me and lets me enter a world of love and dreams every night. it's time for meme's..night.

quick decisions are unsafe decisions

today was my dads last day in town, and i really dont want him to leave. i wish i had the luxury of being able to go home and see my family whenever i wanted. one of my roommates always complains about missing her family AND SHE'S FROM SALT LAKE. which is only 45 minutes away. i want to punch her in the back of the head whenever she pouts about missing home. i'm 12 hours away from my family... not an hour, or 30 minutes, but 12 hours. please do not complain to me about missing your family if you live anywhere within a six hour range from provo. just suck it up and get over it, thats what i had to do.

i'm again, so thankful my dad was here for me to help figure out my situations with school. we've came to the conclusion that i'm NOT switching to aveda. scott is coming home in six months and 22 days. at aveda the attendance policy doesnt allow you to miss any time off, since they're only making you come three days a week, they want you in and out. i wouldnt be able to come during the summer, even for my brothers homecoming. excuse me, but i've been waiting for this day way too long to miss it. also, it ended up being more expensive for me to switch schools. of course there were more factors in my decision, but legally i'm not allowed to talk about them. believe it, this just became a shady post. i just had to murder a few people. so thats that. i'm staying at marinello. and to be honest i love everyone way too much to leave.

i stole my dads zupas virginity today. and he's an addict now. first prison break, now zupas. welcome to my life pops. if you've never been to zupas, GO. (they're only in utah. sorry washington loves) get the half and half deal. i always, and i mean ALWAYS, get the half bbq salad, without onions, tomatos, or olives. and the half chicken enchilada chili, and i dont even like enchiladas! it gets me everytime. zupas equals pure joy. we hit up the mall next. me, steph, and dad found the ugliest things at charlotte russe. seeing my dad hold up mini skirts and sparkly turtle necks made my cheeks hurt. and no, not my bum cheeks, my face cheeks. he actually found some pretty cute things though. i was impressed. we ended up robbing forever 21 like it was going out of bidnis. thanks again dad.. :) me and my friend andrea were going to salt lake tonight to the far east movement concert, you know, like a G6.. like, lililike, like a G6. we make it into the venue, and i get a call from my dad. my nephew needed me. again, i just made this an even more shady post. so i left, and back to lehi i went. far east movement ended up not even coming. ashton punked all of salt lake.

tomorrow my dad leaves me, and how are we spending our last moments together you ask? watching michael scofield and lincoln burrows run from the united states goverment.

any fool can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad

guess who has two thumbs and actually enjoyed school today? this girl. i'm kind of bummed i didnt get a single client. but i DID buy some new nail polish. pretty extreme. lounging around all day with the girls was ideal. just what i needed. and when my pants decided to have a party without letting me know, i ripped a beautiful hole in the crotch of them, and it literally made my day. i know what you're thinking right now. "wow. you're a freak. a hole in your pants made your day? i bet seeing flies land on your knees probably make your day too." but it was like a practical joke, lightened my mood up instantly. i mean come on, i just got a rip in the most awkward part of my pants, at school, and i cant change into anything. a professional work place and i'm walking around almost exposing my chonies. classy, i tell you. classy.

the cherry to my sunday was when my dad walked into apartment 135, MY apartment. :) it hasnt even been a week since i saw him last, but oh. how i missed him. taylor will be coming down in three weeks! which was a total surprise for me. i can't wait. i showed dad around the apartment, and then we were off to pfchangs. we met stephanie and kritt there, with mason. him being cuter then ever. i love that boy. have any of you ever had your mouth filled with the joy of a lettuce wrap from pfchangs? oh my gosh. it never gets old. i'll be full for days. i'm so thankful to have my dad here in utah right now. i NEED at least one of my parents right now. switching schools, needing to find a new way of transportation, and a few free meals? why not? my dads the man, i couldnt do it without him. right now we're sprawled out on stephanies cozy couches, watching the finale of prison break, season one. i spread the addiction my family... feels just like home :)

old as she was, she still missed her daddy

music is an outburst of the soul

school blew my mind today.
they had a plastic surgeon come in and tell us ALL about every kind of face lift, tummy tuck, and liposuction. they showed us raw photo's of a nose job, which i'm proud to say, i looked at without a wince. but when we went into breast implants, the next thing i know theres boobes all over the projector screen. last time i checked, i dont like looking at boobes, and i'm more into guys. you know, like MEN.
i understand that it was pure education, but to have multiple images of womens breasts plasered in my mind isn't my idea of an education. it just straight up disgusts me.
they then went on to botox.
do you know that botox is a toxin that paralyzes whatever muscle you inject it into.
you want a nice firm face? just grab your cheek, get a syringe filled of botox, stab that needle right up in there, and just put that toxin straight into your muscle, and BAM! paralyzed for two to six months. sounds fun, doesnt it?
the surgeon announces that him and his assistants will be back on saturday to do botox injections for a smashing deal of $9 a vile. dont get too excited. it takes about 27 viles to do a complete botox injection in the eye area alone. so it's about $243 for a botox injection on not two eyes, but ONE. they then let us know, that they'll be doing consultations for plastic surgery on saturday as well.
the next part makes me sick. girls MY age, 18 year olds, are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, saying their going to get liposuction, a face lift, a nose job, whatever it takes to make them what the world thinks is "beautiful."
i'm going to BEAUTY school, not "come and let us paralyze and hammer your face until its how it "should" be" school. as if the billboards all over utah didnt give me the hint that plastic surgery is getting bigger and bigger every minute, but the fact that young girls can be convinced in a single presentation that they're not beautiful, breaks my heart. to all the girls reading this, never let the world convince you that you are less then what you are. because what you are is amazing. no matter how big or little you are, short or tall, blonde or brunette, or... redheaded, albino or black, size twelve shoe, or size five and a half. beauty has no limits or molds. so put the diet book down, and go practice smiling at yourself in the mirror. oh, throw away all of those magazines too. scott would always get mad at me for buying any kind of magazine. always telling me that they rot girls minds. making them think if they're not a size zero, their a nobody. and he was right. i always felt like i needed to look exactly like whoever was on the cover of seventeen, until i read an artical about kelly clarkson. yes, kelly clarkson. they were asking her about a picture of herself highlighted in a magazine. her response was, "she's beautiful, whoever she is. but thats not really me." its amazing what kind of editing is done to every single picture in any magazine or advertisement. stop comparing yourself to fake, computer generated clones. be different, be beautiful, be YOU.

okkaayyyyyy. i'm done preaching now.

a guy from the ward, richard, invited me to go with him and his cousin to a coffee shop tonight to watch one of his friends from california play on the geeetaaarr. which was amazing. he writes some of his own music, and sang covers to a few songs. totally blew my mind. plus the free white hot chocolate i was sipping on was delicious. (thanks richard.) there was another guy that played, which was again.. amazing! he was a man version of taylor swift. but in the body of a sexy lumberjack. he sang the funniest break up song. totally bashed a girl. held nothing back, i loved it. my favorite line was..."you love all of my music, and i bet you're loving this one right now too." (or something like that), as he continued to roast her. then there was a little thang who sounded EXACTLY like regina spektor. she was something else. a total sweetheart, with long braided brown hair. being tucked away in a little coffee shop, watching people sing their hearts out, and dropping my jaw multiple times was the perfect getaway. i felt like i was in a movie. seeing toddlers dance on  their dads feet in the back, a two year old angel faced girl pursing her lips and shaking her hips, seeing couples cuddled up in the back booth, and everyone drinking hot beverages in the musky, yet comfortable rugged cafe as the bobbed their heads. it was relaxing, and entertaining. i loved every minute of it. i just wish i couldve gotten better pictures.. stupid lighting.

my spaghetti turned out phenomenal. and the french bread was just right. it's time for me to be a fat kid and go fall asleep with all this food in my stomach. good night creeps.

the necklace was a hit today

i love it.

thanks jess.

...or should i say kellie?

:)

everyone has a photographic memory, but not everyone has film

i'm applying to be a student at aveda, and one of the requirements is to make a short video or sideshow and simply introduce yourself. so this is mine! it's really simple, but i seriously shed a tear everytime i watch it! how lame am i? i love moses lake, and i cannot believe it just said that. but i do! i miss my team, and the amazing coach we have. and i miss my best friend, who i have no idea when i'll see next. TAYLOR. my little sister with more street cred then anyone i know. i was a little mad at myself when i noticed i have more pictures of just her, then of me AND her. so my new goal with tay is to take as many pictures together as possible. and i'll being seeing her and my lovely mother in about seven weeks, thank goodness. and scooter, ahhh. seven more months and we'll be rocking out in the car, hopefully not to any gospel music. i'll try my best to break him in to the real world. the one thing i know without a doubt, is that if anyone in mexico hurts my brother, i'll come after them personally. and thats a promise.

i was a pure romantic, and only operating with half my burners turned on

becoming a cooking wizard might be harder then i had imagined.
i attempted to make pulled pork today. easy stuff, you know.
just pop it in the crock pot, and put the goods in there and let it sit all day.
but i probably shouldnt of let it sit in there for 7 hours on high...
(how i wish there was a medium setting.)
it came out a wee bit dry, and a little burned. and lets just say the uncooked tortillas were more crispy then they were meant to be.
but other then that it was disgustingly declious, and i just hope i dont get poisoned for putting toxic waste into my stomach.
i'm glad my muffins turned out, or my cooking dreams would've been tarnished forever.
tomorrow challenge: spaghetti. with meat sauce, and french bread.
yeah yeah, its simple. but it'll be all kinds of tasty.

so tonight, this little ginger and her cute little roomates are going to watch seven pounds, easy a, and write letters to missionaries.
pretty wild, isnt it?

happy birthday emmet

this little stud is four today!

i cannot wait to see how much of a playa playa you'll be in a few years.

breaking hearts, and getting your swag on.

love you nephew.

have you ever thrown a fistful of glitter in the air

what. a. day.

i may or may not be switching hair schools. its true. i'm currently going to "marinello school of beauty". and i hope i dont offend anyone when i say this (remember, that its my bloggy woggy and my "online journal". so i do what i want!) but i honestly dont know what i even chose marinello. it kind of was just.. there. nestled in the back yard of raintree. but dreading going to school and contemplating about jumping into the river when i walked across the bridge that led me to school everyday, seemed a little too wild for me. so when one of my fellow little ladies told me she was switching schools i got all kinds bushy tailed. so i decided to check it out for myself and i made myself an appointment with AVEDA.

i hope you all have an extra pair of pants because you might pee yourself when i tell you how amazing aveda is. lets begin.

you only go to school three days a week, 10 hour shifts! i would go monday, wednesday, and friday. which means i could get a job. which equals extra cash. my kind of talking...
aveda gives back. this year the provo campus raised $15,000 to give kids in need a christmas. charity is one of their top priorities.
everything is either recycled or organic. (i dont think anyone understand how excited this world friendly ginger was to hear that. i had to hold back giggles.) every product is 98%-99% organic, and almost the entire salon and school is made from recycled materials.
the tuition was cheaper! by $5,000 to be exact. pocket change, i know.
they have a study abroad program! whaaaaa??? BELIEVE IT. this year they're going to india for a month! i will totally go and bust out some "jai ho" on those little indians.
their shampoo bowls have a message chair on them. i know you can resist yourself a message. you're reaching for those new pants, aren't you? well. hold on before you need to grab a third.
they offer complementary yoga and pilates three times a week, which! you get hours for going to.
all the curriculum, homework, methods, lessons, arent in thick heavy books. THEY'RE ON AN IPAD. oh yeah, they went there. the ipad is included in your fee's, and you get to keep it :)
you get a cute little bag, water bottle, and tee shirt when you sign up.
you participate in two fashion shows a year, where you do hair and a makeup.
an instructor this year might even go to fashion week in new york, and will take students with her to do hair and makeup.
aveda works with a model agency, where you can hand pick your own model to perform hair and makeup on. oh, and you get to be in charge of wardrobe as well. towards the end of your year a professional photographer comes in to take pictures of your work for your profolio. and i can promise you, the photos you will receive will be nothing more then amazing.
have i blown your mind yet?

i called my mom as soon as i left that place i like to call hair heaven, and it felt so nice to finally be excited about SCHOOL, of all things. my nutshell of an idea had grew into an entire tree. i'm going to break the news to marinello tomorrow. and hopefully they'll understand that its not me, its them.


after that was all done, i somehow ended up at the mall... weird.
i'm a forever21holic. i'll admit it. they get me everytime. since i can only wear black to school i need to find some way to make myself not look like a devil worshiper. i'm in love with lace right now. but, my latest obsession is pearls. i cant get enough. what comes best after spending time at the mall? ZUPAS :) i made a quick run, grabbed me and my sister some soup and salads, and started the drive back to lehi.

i then was attacked on the freeway. my front left tire was annihilated by a pothole, and i literally thought for a second i was being bombed. i was in the third left lane, minding my own bidnis, and the next thing i know i slip into the grand canyon and black rubber starts flying everywhere. and then my favorite part. an earthquake. the car is having a seizure. shaking back and forth, as i'm trying to get to the shoulder on three wheels. then a tsunami. on my face. i've never blown a tire while driving, let alone on a freeway, and its definitely earned its spot in my top ten scariest moments. and the fact that it wasnt my car, but my lovely sisters, who let me barrow it for the morning made me feel like scum. thank goodness for forgiving sisters, and brother-in-laws of brother-in-laws, that will drop everything they're doing to come and fix a flat tire in the snow.

me and steph laughed it off once i got back to her house. moms reaction of "you hit a light pole?!" instead of..."i hit a pothole." got us good. mason woke up from his nap, and there is nothing more that i love than playing with a baby once they've woken up from a nap. especially if that baby is my favorite nephew mason. his new thing is to stick his tongue out, and keep it out. it's so long i wouldnt doubt it if he could pin it down with his knee while he's crawling. oh, and he can crawl up the stairs now. impressed? i am.

walmart was a wild tonight. when me and stephanie went to grab a cart we were SOL, not a cart in sight. we eventually found one and ended up spending two and a half hours of our life that we'll never get back in that bloody store. i'm going to become a college chef, so i'm more then greatful for all the new groceries overflowing my pantry. pulled pork here i come! (thanks for the crock pot mom)

i took advantage of all the homemade meals when i was home. you bet i had seconds, or thirds... but who's counting right? coming back to provo i felt obese. there probably was no pothole and my fat self just busted the car up on its own. i had just bought all the food i could at walmart. and now stephanie wants to stop at krispy kreme before she takes me home... and she ends up buying me my own half a dozen. she's trying to kill me i think. but, that originally galzed krispy kreme was so delicious.. thanks steph.

i finally made it back to apartment 135. i unpacked, and put the new down comforter on my concrete bed. pretty sure my bed is at least 3 feet taller, and feels like a cloud. thank you again mom. me and the roomie had a giggle and bash fest as we told eachother of our breaks, and i made muffins for breakfast tomorrow.

my day might of gotten hectic and messy at one point, but as things settled down and i look back at it now, today was stunning....just like throwing a fistful of glitter in the air.

gosh.

that was incredibly cheesy.

it's good to be back...

and my third was only $112.40

my new goal is to not be afraid of defrosting chicken in the microwave..

and to be a cooking wizard.

the cinnamon streusel muffins just came out, and oh.

OHH. mama would be so proud.

(fist pound with an explosion)

the cure for anything is salt water

home; place where something began and flourished

my family made a clear out today.
my grandma, and aunt krista flew back to idaho.
my aunt tara flew back to utah.
my dad left at 3:30 and is driving back to his home town, sundance, wyoming for a funeral..
and i was suppose to fly home today, getting into salt lake around 8:30AM.
but i'm sitting on the futon in my mom's craft room staring at my empty suitcase that threw up clothes all over the floor.
stephanie and kritt are taking the honda (my baby) back with them to lehi, so i get to get back together with the love of my life for the day, that old 1996 two toned honda civic.
surprisingly, i'm excited for the drive. what i'm not excted for is to leave home.
i woke up this morning and wanted to cry.
there really is no place like home.
i'm going to miss my famliy, and this big warm house.
i'm going to miss my mom. the best chef in the world, and the most thoughtful lady i know.
and my dad, the iron man. i wont miss his stinky sweaty hugs after he comes back from running his morning marathon, but his witty (sometimes, dirty) sense of humor, and that he always has faith in every idea i proposed.
and taylor. my sweet little sister. i'll miss hearing her rock out and letting me know that "the band" broke up.

so, washington... until next time. provo, ready or not here i come.

dream a little dream of me

my new years eve was a flop.

when the clock hit twelve and the ball dropped, explosions of wannabe champagne and glitter rose like smoke, and everyone cheered for the new adventures and wonders 2011 would bring. i sat alone and awkwardly, surrounded by strangers in a little pizza joint. dont get me wrong, i had fun. i love my best friend. and the new people i met were amazing, but i wanted to be home, and i wanted to be home right that second. playing "boxers and briefs" with my family, and stuffing my face with mozzarella sticks. i'll admit it, i pouted my little self to bed, and fell asleep defeated.

but the moment i fell asleep, i was up in the clouds.

i'm journaling (blogging) about this, because i'm not that kind of girl. i could care less about lovey dovey crap. this is a rare, RARE occasion. so we need to document it before i think it never happened, and this post is just a big fat lie.

i think we were in your hometown.

somewhere small and desolate. 

you escorted me around in your suit and name tag.
you were still gone, serving.
but you were with me that day.

we drove around, and i kept complaining about how you haven't wrote me back.

you just laughed it off and said you were way too busy.

i gave back a sassy sarcastic comment about how you were just avoiding me.

but you weren't so sarcastic when you responded and promised me you werent.

suddenly we were at your companions house.

he was home, visiting his family, just for the day.

his mom interrogated me with questions.

she asked me if i was your "significant other", which i felt like i was.

but i responded telling her i was just a good friend.

she grabbed my shoulders, looked me dead in the eye, and said.. "GOOD. can you imagine what girls he dates? wild, sassy, LOUD ones. that are just plain crazy."

my first thought was, "did she just borderline insult me? making my best features sound bad."

but then i felt your eyes on me, and i could feel your smile.

and it hit me.

i'm a crazy, sassy little ginger... right?
thats me.

i'm the one he describes when he describes "her".

i've never been so proud to be kendra moberg.

i have no idea who you are, but i can't wait to meet you.