in order to love someone else you have to love yourself first

i can honestly say i've heard this quote too many times to actually listen to it.

and i've also been to too many weddings lately where i catch myself thinking about it.

in order to love someone else you have to love yourself first.

we all hear the same thing every day; "nobody's perfect, or the exact opposite, you're perfect just the way you are. or that the best is yet to come, or someone somewhere is looking for you so never give up looking for them." 

lets all be completely honest for a second; at the end of the day when we're thinking about what we truly want it all spirals down into finding our dream match and falling deeply in love. a few have already found that person, and they now dream of having a family and growing old together. some have found that person, and then lost them due to divorce or death. some that did have that person and lost them, find comfort in the new better version they have found but never thought they would. and then there's the dozens who are still searching.

now before you go and sign up for the bachelor you need to remember this quote, and ask yourself if you truly, really do love yourself.

i believe my prime dating years in high school were my sophmore and junior years.

i look back now and wonder what the heck happened!

now i couldn't get a blind rat to go on a date with me even if i was made out of pure cheese.

and then i think to my senior year.

my senior year of high school i dated the spawn of satan. i never talk about him, and i never think back to that time in my life because honestly there was nothing there.

just thinking back to it right now there's no substance and no purpose. really nothing but a big black cloud of thick smoke.

i walked away empty handed, and i also walked away

very very b r o k e n.

ever since that way awesome part of my life (kidding..) my dating life has definitely never bounced back to what it use to be. yes i did date a few guys after all of it, and i fell in love once or twice.. but nothing like it once was. 

SO WHAT HAPPENED?! 

easy answer. i dont love myself as much as i did back then. 

not yet anyways.

 it's simple. our ideal partner is practically a spitting image of ourselves. inside and out. 

then it boils down to our beliefs, which isn't just religion. however if you are head over heels into a certain religion, you will be more attracted to someone who is also head over heels into that certain religion. then music, hobbies, food, and eventually how we all live our everyday lives. if we know that we love the some type of music we'll use that as a security blanket knowing that on some type of level we both understand each other. all of these things come back to how they make us feel. for example; i love cheesecake, and cheesecake makes me happy. so you better believe if i could marry cheesecake and somehow magically reproduce sweet little children, oh i would do it.

i also have my favorite places to get my cheesecake.

either the cheescake factory, or the cheescake factory.

is that the same way ya'll are looking for a partner? 

it's obvious that you'll find them wherever you are looking, but keep in mind who you want to find. when attending a class are you the type to sit in the front row and ask questions, or the one to slip into the back row hoping you won't be noticed and can take a quick nap. now, whichever one of these you are will reflect on who you will be eventually taking home.

i know i want the twerp sitting in the front row, actually maybe second row depending on how much head gear we're talking about. but if i'm slacking in the back, i'll probably end up with nothing but a small pond of drool under my chin. 

after all of that comes the people that we're romantically attracted to. they don't like any of our music, they hate cheesecake, and they don't even go to class. they're totally wrong for you and are missing a brain, but they have something you desire that you just can't quite get. you want to be this person so they can fulfill something you aren't, something you're probably not suppose to have. you want them to change the way people perceive you so you'll feel better about yourself. 

so the question; do you love yourself? would YOU be attracted to YOU?  the things we don't find attractive in ourselves, others won't find attractive. finding someone to fill those weakness won't work either because you take too much energy and risk on maintaining the relationship from the beginning. 

if you truly love yourself, the ones you seek after will come easy.

the match will be undeniable.

but remember; in order to love someone else you have to love yourself first.