maybe i'm just cursed, i'm always hoping for the best

my deepest apologies

this past week has been waaayyy too busy for me 

to have the time to sit down and blog! 

i'm so sorry, because i have so much to tell you.

as soon as i get the time i will fill you all in on my visit home, my new apartment, and how sexy my fish are looking lately.. oh! and how i got bangs, and i fricken love them!!

well, until tomorrow.

sweet dreams.

i bet HE'd understand a heart like mine

he that steals an egg will steal an ox

the salt lake airport never looked so beautiful as it does now.

husbands and wife's all kinds of cuddled up, girls walking around with their green and white starbucks cups, hauling their designer luggage. the news junkies buying as many magazines as their little arms can hold, practically drooling at whatever news is being broadcasted across the television. 

and if you span this terminal long enough you'll see a ginger sitting in the corner, pounding the keys on her laptop, ready to find the lady that called her earlier this week, and kill her. 

one hour later--

alright, let my further explain. so there i was, walking through the salt lake airport looking for anything to devour. i'm suffering from the kind of hunger a second grader has five minutes before lunch. nothing too wild, but enough to make me grouchy. i don't think most can imagine a hungry, grouchy, ginger. but let me help you out...

think of the killer doll chucky... live size.

talk about scary. anyways, i roll up to this dinky stand and grab a "naked" smoothie drink. these things are delish. the lady rings my smoothie up, runs my card, and next thing i see on the screen is denied. my first thought, "am i being punked right now? where's ashton?" my mum just put money on there so i wouldn't start eating innocent citizens. now the cashier has this puzzled look on her face and tells me that it wasn't just "declined", but that the "card number is invalid". what the crap does that mean? have i been living with the wrong identity for the past eighteen years of my life? is my life a lie? is this kendra moberg name written on my debit card not i, kendra moberg? 

i snag my card back and then the fog clears. 
i think back to a phone call i got this week. 
no way.

monday--

being responsible and diligent, i locked myself in my room after school and began packing everything that i own into box, after box, after box. 7:00 rolls around, and a random 800 number pops up on my phone. usually i never answer these because believe it or not, i have better things to do then talk to some telemarketer for hours. but let me remind you... i had been in my room foreva! so i answer it.

on the other end of the line is some random chick, telling me that there are charges that have been put on my card that day, and marked as fraud. she starts reading off the places where this so called "fraud" has been raking up.  k-mart, bebe, a few gas stations, express... blah blah blah. i'm already beginning to ignore everything she's telling me.

i may only be eighteen, but i'm no idiot. i instantly thought back to my senior math class. the random one i needed to graduate since i didn't pass the state test for math. embarrassing right?  but hey! i only missed it by one, and i don't even remember taking the stupid thing. so for not even realizing what i was doing then, only missing one is pretty good.. SO! i signed up for "financial literacy", better known as "math for the real world". we learned all about insurance, stock, credit, loans, and you guessed it fraud. i can't tell you how many stories we read about people getting ripped from random emails or phone calls from desperate thieves. pretending to be the card holders savior, by giving them a tip that "fraud" has been occurring on their card. they get all the information they need, and bada bo bada bang, their rich and someone is dead broke. 

i'm a smart girl. a smart witty girl. a smart witty girl who will tell you what's up when you need to be told what's up. so i play along. i've seen my dad do it a million times. tell the caller random information, and then overload them with questions. they usually transfer you to someone else, or give you a different number to call, which usually is disconnected seconds after you get off the phone with them.


so this idiot women starts asking me all kinds of questions. my card number, email, phone number.. i was just waiting for her to ask me my social security number and my mother's maiden name. i keep feeding her all kinds of BS, and she starts to catch on. so she starts telling me how much has been used, where and when, and what options i now have. but you see, i know for a fact that there is only $.52 on my card. thanks to my mom, if the money isn't in my account you cannot use the card. it's the best way to avoid overdrawing money this ginger doesn't have, the card simply just won't let you. so i start telling all of this to the girl, stating fact after fact. after way too many "well", "uhh", and "ehh"'s, i tell her that i'm going home this weekend, and if somethings really wrong with my card, i'll deal with it at the bank. i ask for a phone number that i could call back, we hang up, i call the number, and sure enough... it's disconnected. 

i sat in my naked white room so satisfied with myself. no fraud junkie will ever get a penny out of me. mama didn't raise no fool. 

well, when that cashier told me my card had declined, and that the card number was invalid, that phone call began running through my mind. i called my mom, filled her in, she called the bank and all was good. i was boarding my flight, so my next attempt would have to wait until boise. 

well GUESS WHAT. it still doesn't work. maybe that satanic women really was trying to help me out, or maybe she was some kind of ghost traveler that slipped through innocent people's cell phones and into their wallets, stealing debit card information and identities, casper's evil twin, or the same demon that is after the little boy in insidious.

either way.. something's going on, and when i figure out who's behind it, they better sleep with not just one eye open, but both. this ginger fury will destroy you.

t minus 16 hours

dreams get you into the future and add excitement to the present

songs for the day;

"big white room" - jessie j

"nobody's perfect" - jessie j

"working for the weekend" - loverboy

"kids" - lady danville

"love the way you lie part II" - rihanna ft. eminem

"cheers (i'll drink to that)" - rihanna

"you lie" - the band perry

 annoyance of the day;
this cut on my inner lip from my retainers.
"hooww dooess that happen!?" (dot voice)
(if you don't know who dot is. go die. aaaeee! jay kay.
go to youtube, type "dot mad tv" into the search bar and prepare yourself)


greatness of the day;
giving myself a spa day at school. back treatments, waxing, and pedicures.
mason giggling as i danced like a baller in the kitchen. 
cafe rio.
lounging around with steph and kritt.


thanks for the day;
steph. thank you for making a beautiful baby. you and baby daddy need to go out more often so i can train him to say my name, and then spoil him rotten. 
kathie. now i know you will never see this, but thank you for making me the most relaxed i've ever been since i've moved down here. your hands are probably worth millions.
all my school girls and family. what to say.. i love you all. full, true, deep kind of love.

"a wilderness explorer is a friend to all, be a plant or fish or tiny mole!"

a great talent finds its happiness in execution

confession; after carrie, i never watched american idol.

but here i am, joining stephanie and kritt on their wednesday night ritual.

what exactly is this wednesday night ritual you may ask yourself?

you guessed it; AMERICAN IDOL.

i peed my pants a little when haley reinhart began singing "rolling in the deep".

SOOO.. ladies and gents... grab an extra pair of panties and prepare to have your mind blown (...or bladder)

water for elephants

my and kate were just talking about how we havent seen a good movie in a really long time.

not any of this funny, random, kids movies, or the random trashy ones.

a true good movie. 

this just might save me;

gimme a piece of this

 

time is a circus. always packing up and moving away

this week is finally here.

my room needs to be packed up and ready to go by wednesday.

lacey is going to help me take it all to steph's, and then sister sleepover.

and finally, THURSDAY.

i fly home for easter :)

i frickin love easter!  i love my family. i love being home, in my giant comfy bed with hot showers and home made meals. i love having an actual car to drive around. and breanna! breanna is home. you bet your bottom dollar i'm going to be all over that...

even though it's only 3 days away, it kind of needs to hurry up.. i'm getting waayyy too anxious.

thankfully the school had plenty of empty boxed to spare, so today i stole all that i could and began to pack every little thing in my room away.

let me tell you, i threw so much crap away.

i now am clutter free! but i am hating the bare white walls, empty shelves, and vacant closet.

the new room and bigger closet space are way too appealing to forget though. oh. and my own bathroom? that's quite the motivator too.

i have 80% of my first few months in the college life, tucked and packed away.

the other 20% is going to have to wait until tomorrow..

since i'm packing everything away, this makes packing for home ten times easier.

i have to decided what to wear, and i have! my clothes are all packed ready to go.

i have the two black outfits for school already picked ready to go, and the bathroom things will be last. 

i don't think i've ever been so prepared.

my family would be so impressed. :)

well, i doubt this makes any sense because i'm hungry and tired.

and that's really all i'm thinking about right now.

so yeah...

k, BYYYYEEEE!!!!

p.s. thank you kate, for letting me have all my favorite items out of your closet :)

i will marry anyone who...

finds/makes these cupcakes, and gives them to me to admire forever.

...and possibly eat.

iconic boyz,2:54-2:59

i am IN LOVE with these boys.

the studly biggerish one reminds me of scott in his heffer days...

and i love it.

iconic boys be representin
2:54-2:59...yeeessssss :)

don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.

i don't suggest watching a movie while trying to do homework...

not only did i double my work time, but OH...

now i just want some of my own will and ronnie love

i'm most likely going to butcher this story...

but stephanie has my mum text her "taylor stories", since we're not home to witness the ridiculously cute things taylor does on a daily basis that are worth noting.

of course steph spreads the sister love and forwards me these texts..

one in particular i will never forget.

my mum walked into our upstairs living room one day while taylor was watching "the last song".

taylor had her eyes locked on the screen when she interrupted my mum's scattered thoughts...

she said..."one day that's going to happen to me."

my mum, being thrown off by whatever taylor was bringing up asked.. "what is going to happen to you?"

taylor's response..."one   day   i'm   going   to   be   in   love."

my mother's response through her grinning tear stained lips..."yes taylor, one day you're going to be in love."

then why does the moon still follow you?

arthur.

take notes bree... this may or may not be my new favorite movie.

all of you. go watch. as soon as possible.

so like, right now.

seriously. stop reading this and go buy tickets.

are you blind?

GO GET YOUR TICKETS!

children reinvent your world for you

i am overly joyous to announce that my dear sister-in-law 

will be due with number three, november 15th

congratulations you wild animal :)

another niece or nephew to spoil rotten... that's what's up.

can't wait.

don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars

no legacy is as rich as honesty

surprise, surprise! guess who's still awake?

this girl.

i decided to stay up later than my grandmother tonight, and finally focus on the blog i've been neglecting these past few weeks. as i said in the beginning of this entire project, i am treating this blog as my personal journal. but as in many personal journals... they're full of the honesty most don't share with the rest of the world. but i, kendra moberg, am taking the more personal route with all of this. why, you may ask? good question. 

SO, to be quite honest...

i've been at my all time low the past few weeks. at first i blamed most of it on myself, and others that surrounded me. then i took my problems straight to this awful state i'm currently residing in, and had it take the blame. then i threw it on the people who also reside in this state, putting each and every one of them in their own psychotic categories i was mentally developing for them in my overly processed ginger idea tank. 

after school yesterday i sat at my apartment, my brain practically molding from all the rancid idea's that were bouncing around. i was forming thought after thought, and then the actions i would take to fulfill these thoughts began to represent themselves right in front of me. and no, they weren't to blow up utah, and everyone in it...

action number one: drop out of school. drop out of school in utah, transfer to a school in washington, move back home, work hard, play hard, call it good until scott comes home. problem solved. i called my dad immediately and proposed this idea. one of the many things he told me in that phone call will forever be branded into my mind. well, two things. first, "put on your big girl panties and get it done." and second, "stop dating your career." stop being unsure, trying to find different options that at the time seem better then what you already have. stop looking for something better and never being satisfied with something so perfect that you've had for the past seven months. my first thought to all of that was..."whaaaaaaaa??? this girl ain't dating nothin." but i was. i was dating my carreer, one that can make me thousands in the first year. when really i should have been married to that sucker this whole time.

action number two: get liposuction and get on accutane as soon as possible. wow. i don't think i've ever realized how despicable of a thought that is. my mother came down last weekend, and oh... how awesome it was. of course when mom is in town, we hit up the mall. but this time around, the same old sizes didn't exactly fit anymore. i wish i could tell you all that i had to get smaller sizes, but oh no... they were bigger sizes. it was the most degrading shopping trip of my life. my self-esteem hit the ground traveling as fast as a penny just dropped off the top of the empire state building, and doing just as much damage once it hit an innocent pedestrian at the bottom. as i went to fitting room after fitting room, the more and more i began to get disgusted with myself. what happened to the petite girl i knew back in high school? heck, the petite girl i knew a few months ago? where was she? i poked at my stomach, and waved my relief society arms back and forth. i stared at my not so perfect face in the mirror, and not only began to point out every single flaw i began to notice, i started to count them. that night i researched liposuction prices until my fingers got numb.

today i found myself weeping in front of my prestigious school director. i told her i wanted to go home, and i wanted to go home now. and wow, how she unraveled me. i had a plan just a few weeks ago. a new apartment to move into, new furniture to buy, new roommates, a lot of great perks, and a new pool of sexy men to pick through. school was going great, i was doing much better then i ever imagined i could. and then one thing after another, my plan began to crumble underneath me. i was unsure who to live with, unsure where to even live. and i was panicking. i was ready to do whatever was easiest, and what was easiest was to dip out and go back to moses. my dad was right, i was dating my career. fetch, i was being a straight up tramp with my career. i wasn't committed, and i was constantly looking for something "better". my director sat me down, gave me a fat box of tissues, and minute by minute started to rebuild me. before you knew it, i had found a place to live, with awesome potential roommates, and i tied the knot with my education.

a dear friend of mine surprised me at my apartment tonight. we got starbucks and drove off into the storm that was shaking the car and filling the sky with strikes of lightening. i've never seen anything so beautiful. i didn't even have to say anything, she knew the positive self image i had created for myself was gone. and like an onion, she began to peel back every layer of me. those sizes up i had been complaining about? they all were a size LARGE. that's it! a large. talk about a world epidemic, right? so what if i wasn't in the small and rare mediums i use to be. since when is a large "big"? news flash, it's not. i know it's over said that true beauty is rare. but to be honest that was something i never truly understand. if "true beauty" was so "rare", then why did i see it everyday on hundreds of girls... none of them being me? but true beauty isn't the size two girls with bleach blonde hair to their butt and porcelain skin. that may be the most untrue beauty. now i am not saying that the girls who have these exact looks are not truly beautiful, it's the girls who starve themselves and fry their hair to achieve something that the world has morphed them to believe is beautiful. let's be honest. there really isn't a single true definition of beauty. yes, you can find it in the dictionary, and the definition you will get will be this; the qualities that give pleasure to the senses. once we all cast out the worlds assumption of what beauty is, and focus on what it is to us, those qualities that give pleasure to the senses won't be the size two qualities. they'll be the qualities that you and i already possess. it'll be the shirt i'm wearing, which is a size large, that will be beautiful on me, and i will be beautiful in it. i was look so dang sexy in that large shirt, i will make rooms that i walk into so hot that they might just exploade in flames. my friend said it like this; we're all our own city, with each building representing a different characteristic that we ourselves have been born with, or others that the world has willing, or unwilling gave us. we need to begin to slowly destroy each and everyone one of those worldly buildings until it's just us left standing there. then we can focus on what really makes us happy, what we really think is beautiful. we can stop seeing what is "wrong" with us, and finally see what is so unbelievably amazing about us.

winning isn't everything, but the will to win is everything

anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for

just when i thought i had nothing uplifting or personal to share...

go ahead and try to report my blog as harrasment.
i'm pretty sure hundreds will disagree with you.

nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.

april 6th, 2011

i wish i had some uplifting post for today.

something inspiring.

but today was simply perfect.

school was superb.

lacey, bailey, and i got pretzels at the mall, and the hit up the theater.

(saw insidious for the second time...) 

then we ran a ruckus through kohls and called it a night.

i've never laughed so hard, i'm exhausted, and i am going to bed. 

mum and taylor will be here tomorrow.

CAN'T WAIT :)

#winning

today was my first day as a senior.
how crazy is it that in about five months i'll be done with a
single year of school and making bank.
fetch, this isn't even what i want to do with my life.
it's a back up plan. but either way, i'll be making it rain on a daily basis.

i remember when i first started school
i knew absolutely nothing about hair.
i couldn't tell you what lowlights were, or whatever the heck
"blocking out" was on a mens haircut. 
oh, and i could care less about what shampoo i was using.
or what you were using.
or what type of shampoo my client was using.
as long as i wasn't a bald ginger with yellow nails i really
didn't give a hoot about anything in the beauty department.

but WOW , how i have changed over the past few months.
i could tell you anything and everything about your hair.
whether you want to know or not...
and my parents have created a monster by letting me
get elbow deep in all of my favorite hair and skin products.

aaaannnyywaaayys.... back to the subject of being a senior.
today was my first day!
i'm sure my new teacher knows how intimidating she is.
i was terrified to move up.
but today.. today was awesome.

i learned bucket loads.
did my best highlight yet.
won a free service in esthetics.
oh, and won $2oo in product.

#winning

because a known fact is better than an unknown fact

mum didn't make taylor watch conference today....
so while the whole family was sitting at the dinner table indulging, kellie asked taylor who the president of the church was.
taylor's response, "obama."
kellie then said.. "nooo. thomas s. ....?"
taylor's response, "jefferson."

way to go mum...
miss yoouu

you've got every right to a beautiful life

YES. i love.

she never disappoints

april 1st, 2011

accessory of the day:

 

(yes, it really works.)

top songs of the day;

"Do It Like A Dude"- Jessie J

Anything by Lily Allen

Everything by The Used

"Blow"-Ke$ha

"E.T."-Katy Perry ft. Kanye West

"Spin"-Taking Back Sunday

i love you bree. we'll snuggle when i'm home for easter.

stephanie. i wish you were home.

lacey... you can catch me on twitter.

oi! follow me on twitter 

klynnmoberg

individually we are one drop, together we are an ocean

when i got the news i wasn't sure if it was an april fool's joke, or if this was real life.
i texted at least 500 people to make sure this information was valid.
the news made my eighteen years of life.
i told you i wouldn't let you crumble.

new year, new possibilities.


thank the Lord.

the brain is the human body's most mysterious organ. it learns. it changes. it adapts. it tells us what we see, what we hear. it lets us feel love. i think it holds our soul. and no matter how much research we do, no one can really say how all that delicate grey matter inside our skull works. and, when it's hurt, when the human brain is traumatized, well, that's when it gets even more mysterious.