The Laws of Attraction

Honey, everything is chemical. Everything is physical, and if you want, everything is spiritual. My answer is this: You can know every single ingredient in a piece of chocolate cake and still sit down and eat it and feel the joy. You can know every note in Beethoven’s Ninth and listen to it and reel with the pleasure. To me, understanding the system expands my wonder. In the wild, all animals are attracted to some other animals and really uninterested in or repelled by others — too old, too young, too scruffy. With the evolution of humanity, it became more refined and more profound and led to a phenomenon we call romantic love. 

Helen Fisher

minutes turn into hours, hours turn into days

i'm starting to forget the concept of time.

but i guess most people do when they step out of the real world and into some place where the only worry that crosses their mind is where to go for lunch, and if we'll have enough t i m e to visit every little store tucked into the street's and boulevards that have comforted them their entire life.

going h o m e is an escape.

on sunday the only place my mama was letting me go was the doctor. other than that i was chained to the couch. and yes, i watched every tremors movie ever created on netflix. tremors 2, tremors 3, and tremors 4. ohhh the glory of having netflix right here on our over sized plasma television. if only they had jurassic park on instant que. all of you go listen to "hey mama" by my boy kanye. and that is my mother. homemade chicken noodle soup is what filled out bellies sunday night. along with warm rolls, the best cheesecake salad in the west, and sweet sweet corn. i painted my nails and fell asleep on the couch just as scheduled. 


monday is moon's day. i woke up early. being home does that to me, but i kind of like it. i laid on my mothers bed and watched her get ready, all like i was four years old again. but we weren't talking about how to tie my shoes or singing primary songs anymore. we were talking about boys, where to work, roommates, and the summer i have ahead of me. we went to the bistro for lunch. and yes, i wore my sunglasses the entire time. me and my grandma wondered around the bistro's side shop full of little home decor trinkets, decorations, and every kind of cooking appliance or dish thinkable. we went and got frozen yogurt, picked taylor up from school, and came home. later that evening we went and watched "the lucky one". and glory glory! that movie melted my heart. except for the one too many sex scenes that we made taylor cover her eyes for, nicholas sparks has done it again. and i have only had it confirmed again, that i need to marry a boy from the south. and live and die in a town in north carolina. we came home. i opened up my moms bedroom window, put on one of my dad's big t shirts, curled up in a ball on her bed, and watched the voice. aka. the greatest show ever. i feel asleep and woke up to a storm outside. the blinds being blown back and forth, cracking against the window pane. rain pouring outside. a spring storm. 


today i woke up even earlier. 6:50AM. so what do i do? i blog. i listen to the lucky one soundtrack and i blog. 

the girl on fire (or her eyes at least)

i don't even know what is now happening with my sweet sweet red devil infested eyes.

my darling older brother gave me his sickness almost two weeks ago, and on day 3 my eyes began to swell up and got inflamed. yes we all thought it was pink eye, but we were all wrong!
it was some kind of other infection rotting my eyes out of my skull.
so we got me some drops, glycerin or something like that. and i started pumping those bad boys in like it was my job! everyone four hours turned into every two hours because my eyes were only getting worse.

but worse as in waking up with my eyelids completely sealed shut due to all the gunk seeping through my eyelids as i tried to sleep my disease away. may i remind you all of this is happening while i'm sneezing up snot rockets on the windshield of my brothers car, coughing up a few blog clot looking things, eating only cough drops and forcing water down my throat, studying 12 hours a day for my test (which i passes. drinks for everyone!), my throat and tongue swollen making me look like a dog unable to put it's tongue back in it's mouth.


you're getting the picture, right?


well, i kept pumping the drops in. and stopped wearing make up due to the irritation and to a challenge my dad gave me. 10 days without makeup. without face wash. without everything. just my skin and water. and it's been glorious! yes i look crazy, but it's so nice to not do anything. anyways, back to my lucifer eyes. 


my dad came down, told me i was fine. and since he knows what he's talking about i'm suppose to believe him, right? so i sucked it up and came to the fact that my eyes were just going to stay this way forever. we drove home to washington on saturday, and let me just tell you all... mama didn't like what she saw. she took me to urgent care sunday afternoon only to find out that i'm allergic to the drops that i've been flushing my eyes with every two hours for the past week. that's what i get for being a redhead, sensitive to everything. so my infection might've been gone, but my eyes were pleading with me to stop pouring acid into them every second of the day.

so i got new drops. they're full of steroids. that's right s t e r o i d s. am i eating a few hoping they'll help me get buff? maybe. probably not. but maybe. it's day 3 of my drops and my eye's actually look better believe it or not.


i wear my sunglasses everywhere, looking like i just got out of rehab. but i think i'll spare the innocent citizens of such horror. even my dentist offered to let me wear them while he worked on me. in which i replied... "no thank you. i think i'll just close my eyes." (duh.)


so that's that. i'll continue to looked possessed until i roid out. lucky me.

 day 6

 day 7

 day 8

 day 9

day 10

(scott's favorite)

"it's gone"

literally after h o u r s of studying.. . . it's 12:21AM and i'm ready to call it a night.
i'm belly up on my comfy twin sized bed, fingers frantically stalking old blog posts i had forgotten all about. fascinated about the vast topic's i have covered, the weirdness i can throw up onto the internet, and ashamed for having stopped writing as much.
in 2011 that was my goal. to write on this blog as much as possible. to document every big event, any new step in my life, and anything on my mind.
i started out pretty strong, but then i guess the race got the best of me.


on easter sunday my roommate was discussing in church how it could be the beginning of a new year. instead of waiting for january 1st, starting fresh that easter sunday. remember why we're here on earth, how we got here, and where we're going. and taking it as 
a n e w b e g i n n i n g.


so here we go.
(i know i'm a little bit past easter sunday, but it's better late then never)


this time around i'm going to be 150% more honest, 100% more dedicated, 200% more raw, and i might start putting up a few pictures of me in pretty outfits trying to be a cool kid that dresses nice. (that last one isn't a promise)


now it's 12:30, and my eyes are hurting from reading silly note cards on what chemical does what, and how long it takes for a toe nail to grow back once it's fallen off. (which takes 9-12 months for all you toenail-less, run your feet into the depths of the earth kind of people.)


now it's 12:32 and all i can hear is people screaming and jumping into the pool. congratulations, you can swim in the dark. now get to bed and stop ruining the idea me and my roommate had of "accidentally" knocking our window screen out and sleeping with our bedroom window w i  d e o p e n.


i need a midnight snack.

tuesday's with murray

today my phone broke.
my pretty little white piece of technology. broken.
so where did AT&T send me? to the apple store in murray, utah.
where i spent my entire tuesday. 
mama had sent me a few gift cards for easter, and stephanie exchanged a few nights of babysitting for a H&M gift card. 
so where did THAT lead me? H&M(duh.) THEN the apple store. then DSW.
i've never felt so spoiled.

take me home - young the giant

d i s t r a c t e d

so here i am.
trying to blend in just like any other zoobie would in the BYU library. 
feeling like a cool kid and pretending to be half as smart or stylish as half of these kitty cats.

i have graduated from hair school (it's about time, right?) and all i have left in my way now is passing my state boards so i can get licensed and start working. 
it fascinates me to think that i just spent 2,000 hours of my life, and 20,000 of that cash money i sure don't have and it all comes down to t w o tests. two little tests. one written test, with 100 questions. and one practical exam. the key to passing that one? sanitation! and safety.

the goal? to pass these two little tests the first time around. so that way i won't have to pay the 80 dollaa bill testing fee again, and have to wait 30 days until i can test again.

these tests are haunting me. i've been staring at my homemade note cards filled with random information for days now. trying to remember what the epidermal-dermal junction is. or what the average rate of nail growth is in the normal adult. but i've just been staring!

why won't my dinky little brain just suck this up?! today i forgot my scriptures, and i am new to this whole "library thing"... which is so fun to me. i've stared at so many people i could probably get arrested. so maybe that's why i seem to keep loosing focus.

so what am i doing to do? i'm going to blog. 

i will not regain any focus.

i will keep listening to the same songs that have been on repeat for days.

and yes, i will continue to keep making uncomfortable eye contact with the nerd with a receding hairline sitting directly in front of me, literally inches away.  


yummy.